So, I'm really not much of one for public arm-flapping.
This is learned behavior, not innate, I hasten to add.
My dramatic streak is too wide and my command of hyperbole too deft for me not to be perfectly capable of pitching a spectacular fit (and thoroughly enjoying myself in the process, may I add.)
The problem is that I am inevitably mortified by my self-indulgence later - and would infinitely prefer to just pretend it never happened, thank you very much.
But that can't be when you've let fly -- words reverberate forever.
So I've learned to rein it in, a habit I extend to this little corner of the blogosphere, as well.
I don't see this as my place to bust loose, like a cyber keg party, it's just another place to talk to people -- the same way I talk to them in real life.
- And then someone suggested that this could be seen as cheating -
which pretty much stopped me cold.
I guess I see the point. I suppose one could argue that I'm presenting a false construct, shaping my persona to suit the image I want to project...
But does that hold water?
I frame my interactions with BlogLand the same as my interactions with real life.
Meaning that, in both, I tend to exercise restraint.
In real life, people appreciate this fact.
Are the standards really that different in cyber-space?
(And if they ARE, does that mean I have to be accepting of the ubiquitous unsolicited penis pic? Because that might just put me over the edge, here...)
10 comments:
Jz - anyone who doesn't say that their online persona is a construct is a fool or being purposefully deceptive.
We all customize who we are in every single scenario. Those people who do not -- or who cannot -- are usually identified as "strange" or "socially awkward".
You are who you choose to be -- and anyone who thinks that is dishonest should keep their nose in their own business
sfp
I agree with sfp.
Customizing who we are, in any situation, is not being dishonest, or cheating. Even online.
hugs
Alex
in many many ways, my online personality is MORE honest than my in-person persona. I am more flirty, horny, honest, insulting, supportive, expansive, and kind on-line than i am in real life. I am freer with compliments (hey, nice tits), more honest about my feelings (I hate your husband, but love you), and more open about my desires (suck me!) than in real life.
I shape my on-line personality to suit my needs, but after 7 years of doing it, a streak of reality comes through, I can't help it.
Besides, it can be dishonest if you know I'm lying. When the lie is assumed, the truth can come out.
I don't think that there are any circumstances in which one must be accepting of "the ubiquitous unsolicited penis pic"
Though...I haven't gotten any...Should I feel left out?
I think that standards in cyber-space are often what we make them--and if those are the same standards we hold in day to day life, there's nothing wrong with that.
Now, if you were to come around one day and say that you were actually a six-foot Arabian man with five wives, I would be somewhat shocked and disappointed...But terribly impressed with your exceptional grasp of the English language.
I think that's the kind of thing that would definitely be considered cheating lol.
I *think* i am on my blog as I am in real life. aisha would know that better than I.
Then again, IRL i am a cheater, aren't i?
*sigh*
Here's my rule of thumb, and it's so easy.
my blog, my rulz.
:)
if you want to present something it is ALWAYS going to come out in your voice...and if you hedge around something? what of it, right? Why should you have to share every last thing? Some truths are simply too intimate. And there are many levels and layers of that intimacy...boob shots are just the tip of the iceberg, really.
nilla
ps...you're getting random penis pictures? what the hell am I doingwrong? LOL. (really, i don't mean that...do not send me random penis pics. !!)
word verification...Transeks. Really, I'm bi...not tranny. But I do enjoy the seks part. :)
sfp-
"A Customized Bitch"? ;-)
(altho' I had to laugh a bit, because I actually have (often) in my life been identified as both "strange" and socially awkward.")
But I appreciate the support, ma'am.
AC-
Thank you - and welcome. :-)
A-
I take your point that in many ways, our online selves are a more accurate representation of the person within, both good and bad.
I'm still not sure I consider that sufficient reason to let my normal standards lapse, however. (I realize you're not arguing that I should, I'm just trying to take my ponder along your path...) ;-D
l-
And you would, of course, compliment me on my fine burnoose, yes?
n-
OK, now *I'm* the one snorting tea...
I agree with the "my blog, my rulz" standard.
Which is, I think, part of why I was a bit taken aback to be accused of cheating.
I've never really thought of good manners in that way before...
(and to both l & n - seriously? You are missing NOTHING with the lack of unsolicited penis pix. Of course, I'm both old-fashioned and non-visual, so take that with a grain of salt. But still... A thing like that does not foster the desire for an introduction, in my book.)
A. Your blog is what you want it to be--whatever tone or personality you make it is totally up to you. It is not a rule that a blog be a confessional or a free-for-all keg party.
B. If the real you is restrained to most in real-life then it is still the real-you, restrained in blogland.
C. We all have different "selves" or personae that are revealed in the different scenarios of our lives. A woman may be a sister, wife, mother, manager and she behaves very differently in each of those life roles. If she starts a blog and only bares one role to blog readers that does not make her false or unreal or even restrained.
D. There is a difference between being mannerly, courteous or exhibiting some sort of cyber-social graces versus holding back the real you. The trick is what is the real your? Are you deceiving yourself? Do you get a tinge when you write and post that signifies something doesn't feel quite right or ring true?
Just food for thought, and my very own thoughts (not even really opinions).
I will bet that you give more of YOU, including the arm-flapping you to some people and not to others. That's how humans behave. I for one am honored to "see" your arm-flapping dance. And boy have I got a costume for that!
;p
-H
P.S. I haven't had coffee yet. I'm running late. No time to proof or even make sure this makes sense.
"does that mean I have to be accepting of the ubiquitous unsolicited penis pic? "
Penis Terrorist!!!!
(man oh man I wish I could post a graphic here)
:D :D
-H
OMG...I laughed to tears at lil's comment.
Okay people, I gotta get out of here...leave this damn blog. I'm late!
-H
H-
NO Penis Terrorist pix!
No!
No.
While all your thoughts are sound, C is a very good point and I think you nailed it with D. At least, according to how I think which therefore means I think that comment was a stroke of genius. ;-D
(Did I mention NO Penis Terrorist pix...?)
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