Oh, Crud!

Am I too late for National Ice Cream Month????
('scuse me, gotta dash out for a couple...)

Impressions: My Summer

In one thousand words -- or rough equivalent...

(how'm I doin'?)

The Most Recent Purge

GONE!

(I'm waiting to see if any of it turns up on one of the seagulls at the dump...)  :-D

A Perfect "Better Than Birthday"

I kind of ignored the anniversary of my arrival into the world this year. Too much memory, BG, and general angst woven into the day this time 'round. So, I simply pretended it never happened… and then put together a Better Than Birthday celebration for myself a few days later. I took some time off from work and filled it with fun happenings - with people who didn't even realize it had been my birthday. (At least not initially -- the beans did end up getting spilled eventually.)

The BTB began with a fun-filled day turning Kraken on to my favorite bookstore. (And I do mean "day" -- the man can browse books for even longer than I can!) We each sold back enough books to support our purchases for the day and then retreated back to my house, where we ate take-out pizza in the shade of the world's greatest tree. *bliss*

And if that weren't fun enough, in an unplanned addition to the day, another high school friend dropped by unexpectedly, did the squeal and dash when she spotted Kraken, and plunked herself down under the tree with us -- where we all spent the next hour or so having a right gabfest for three. 

Now, that would have been a very fine celebration in and of itself... 

But it gets even better.

Yes, there's more. 

WAY more...

Because the next day, I dusted off my urban survival shoes, took the commuter train to A Major City… and (drumroll please) met up with Greengirl! (whoooHOOOO!)

gg and I have been friends pretty much as long as we've both been blogging, so it was super-special to finally get to put a face to personality. (Particularly a face with such striking eyes and great smile. :-) ) 

It was kind of funny, really, because meeting her truly did not feel like meeting someone new -- it was way more comfortable than that. More like catching up with an old friend (who'd meanwhile had plastic surgery, so you didn't know quite what they looked like anymore…)

There wasn't any awkwardness -- the conversation flowed easily as we walked the city's parks, admiring the flowers, laughing, and just generally enjoying the heck out of our time together. (There might have been a little eating tossed in there too, but my lips are sealed…)

But it's not surprising that it was all so smooth -- gg is every bit as calm and thoughtful as she seems in her blog, with the additional bonus of a really sharp sense of humor. (I love sharp.) She's interesting and interested and we share a number of sensibilities, so it makes sense that things were clicking right, left, and sideways.

In fact, it felt so special to meet gg that…

…we hugged.

I know, I know, -- you're wondering if my body had been invaded by aliens… 

(And I've already confessed this lapse to 'nilla and sofia, both of whom generously set aside their own hugging tendencies to accommodate me when we met last year.)

But I couldn't help myself. Meeting gg just gave me one very large, warm, quiet, internal smile -- that stuck with me long after I headed back home.

Really, I had so much fun, I think I'm going to have to ignore my birthday more often. :-)

(gg- can you come back annually, do you think?)  :-D

TMI Tuesday - Party Fears

Good News: You’ve been invited to party!
Bad News: You have certain concerns. . .

1) Arrival: 

Are you afraid (a) that you can’t find the address, (b) that you will be early, (c) that you will be late, (d) other?

None of these are huge fears for me but since I do suffer from 180º syndrome, I will probably fret a bit about getting lost for a while. But since I don't love parties that much anyhow, if I can't find the place after 20 minutes, I'll just take it as a sign from God, and turn around and go home. :-)

2) Clothing:

Are you afraid (a) you will be underdressed, (b) overdressed, (c) dressed for the wrong activity, (d) don’t have items that you need, e.g. swimsuit, (3) other?

I can generally gauge appropriateness pretty well, my concerns center more around the fact that I just seem to wear clothes poorly. Nothing drapes the way I'd like it to, so despite my best efforts, I tend to end up looking pretty frumpy...

3) Drinks: 

Are you afraid that (a) you will drink too much, (b) that you will drink too little, (c) other people will drink too much, (d) there won’t be anything good that’s non-alcoholic, (e) other?

That there won't be anything good that's non-alcoholic, which will leave me thirsty and cranky -- AND that other people will drink too much, which will result in them plucking my already-dehyrated-and-stressed last nerve... 

I much prefer BYOB's…  :-)

4) Food: 

Are you afraid that (a) the food will be too new-fangled and trendy, (b) the food will be conventional and boring, (c) there won’t be anything you want to eat, (d) there won’t be any food and you are hungry, (e) other?

I worry that there will be nothing but mounds of pepperoni slices, stacks of saltines, and endless plates of celery with cream cheese...

I suppose that makes me afraid of conventional and boring. 

(And highly processed.)

5) Music: 

Are you afraid that (a) the music will be too loud, (b) there won’t be music or you won’t be able to hear it, (c) the music will be of a new genre you don’t like or can’t understand, (d) the music will be boring oldies, (e) other?

We're good on this one, as long as it's not Chicago... (please God!)

6) Later: 

Are you afraid that (a) the party will end too soon and it won’t have been worth the trouble, (b) the party will go on too long, (c) other?

I'm mostly concerned I'll be nodding off in my chair in the corner, yet the rollicking good time being had by others will make me feel guilty for wanting to go home and sleep…

7. Afterward: 

Are you afraid that (a) you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be bad, (b) the you will end up in bed with the wrong person and the sex will be great, (c) that you will end up in bed with the right person and there won’t be any sex, (d) that you will end up in bed with the right person who wants sex but you are too tired, (e) other?

More that someone might assume I'm actually interested in having sex at all... 

See Who Else Is Playing!

TMI Tuesday

The Perfect Summer Shoe?

I'll leave it up to you to provide commentary on these!

:-D

Our Bodies, Ourselves?

My friend Q has recently embarked on what is only the second or third relationship of his life -- and had this observation about the experience:

Here's something that baffles me about women … 

They wonder how I know what I do with their bodies -- and *I* wonder how they don't.  

I laughed pretty hard over that... and then got thinking…

You'd figure it would be easy. 

My body, I live inside it, I know what it's triggers are. 

But there are many, many assumptions that can deflect your understanding. 

For example, I can't imagine having been savvy enough when I was younger to think, "I really like soft strokes on my skin but they don't do a thing for me on my breasts… maybe I should try bitch-slapping these suckers, instead." 

Color me naive, but it's just not the sort of thing that would have crossed my mind.

Even without value judgements hindering your path, there are certain things that simply don't occur to you when you're starting to explore. And once you've found something that works, there's then a tendency to think you've done the work now and these are your parameters. You don't consider that you could maybe expand them because you sort of forget there's more space out there that could be filled. 

So, any vague dissatisfaction you may feel isn't because your focus is a little off-center - no, no. Either the two of you just aren't the best fit or he doesn't know what he's doing, or, as in my case, "well, sex just isn't really my thing, anyhow…" 

Even gaining enough experience to form a better idea of what pleases you doesn't make the situation much better, because then you have the awkward issue of how to convey your desires.

Again, it sounds so simple -- just tell him.

Uh-huh, sure.

Sometimes that works. 

And if you get lucky and receive a positive response the first couple of times you try, then yeah, you're probably not going to mind opening up that sort of conversation.

BUT...

If you your initial attempts garner a response that makes you feel belittled?

If you receive annoyance or, worse, pouting as the result of your suggestion?

Do you really think a person's going to keep beating her head against that wall?

Maybe you would, but I sure didn't.

Rather, for many years, my gut reaction to, "just tell me what you want" was, "Why on earth would I put myself through that? No one ever gets it right and I just end up feeling humiliated. Pass, thanks."

I guess the thing is that knowledge requires a lot of work.

Of a sisyphean sort.

Yet we are led to believe it just comes naturally.

Really, it's no wonder there are so many of us wandering around clueless...