Spock Has Technology Issues, Too

At least it's not calling T'Pring on ya, dude...

In Which Siri Is Not My Friend

Tiny Woman and I had arranged an outing and I’d been meaning to confirm with her all day - but I am swamped in the summers and had no time. So, I took a chance while driving home and tried using Siri to email her. I pressed the home button, settled my very new phone on my lap, and proceeded to address my thigh:

          “Siri, email Fiji”  (Tiny Woman’s nickname)

                  “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

          “Siri, email Fiji”  

                  “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

          “Email Fiji” 

             Mail opened, at least. (yay!)

               But then…

                  “I’m sorry, I cannot find that name.”

Hmmm.... OK, I haven’t proofed all my contacts yet.

Well, Mail is open anyhow... maybe her recipient name…?

(enunciating carefully:)

          “Fiji... Hall” 

                  “Got it!  Calling BG…”

NOOOOOOOO!!!

I pretty much drove off the side of the road as I fumbled to "Cancel-Cancel-CAAANCELLLL!"

And then sat there for a few minutes, panting, while the adrenaline rush subsided.

My first thought was, “Yikes! That was close!”

But then, right on its heels, came, “Maybe he’ll see that I called, and ….”

*sigh*

There is no idiot like a congenital one...

This, on a T-shirt, please.
Actually, six -- size large.
Thank you.

Sticky Fingers

I broke out the Gorilla Glue in an (unsuccessful) effort to reattach a warped base mat. Having had some unpleasant chemical adhesive experiences in the past, I was quite careful and put everything away, confident that I had cleaned up all lingering residue.

So you can imagine my dismay when, several hours later, I realized that one of my fingernails looked remarkably as though it had been liberally festooned with the remains of a sneeze…

          except sneeze geeb will come off…

                    and this did not.

It was three days of sporting polyurethane boogers before that mess would finally chip off.

At least I could continue to use my hands, however…

(I've done this, too.
Fingernails are better.)

Truth in Advertising?

I am assured by the packaging that this is 

an "almond meringue with natural strawberry cream filling”

Can dyslexia effect the optic nerve?

Is there a clinical term for negative-image vision?

Was it recently "Invert All The Things Day"?

Help me out here, people.

I'm trying very hard not to use the word, “bass-ackward”...

Obligatory Moonchild Meme 2017

I had something completely different than this in mind…

          and then this week happened. (In all its craptacular glory.)

So we're going with this, instead:

I make no claims to the veracity of the first part but boy howdy have I been living the latter!

flame on!

Things To Remember, #26

Silly, I know…

But somehow, it seemed like Just the Thing to launch Birthday Week.

In Which I Am Reduced to Tears (of Laughter)

Recently, a couple of friends popped back in my life after an extended period of silence. I go way back with each of them - one is a woman I worked with 27 years ago, the other a guy I knew from my first job after college - so add 10 more years for him. They are both very dear to me but in each case, our paths had diverged and we’d lost touch.  

Now they were back, however, and it was time to play catch up. Meaning, of course, that I had to mention my breakup with BG. (I promise I did talk about other things as well, but l'amour is one of those obligatory topics among friends, no?)

Their responses proved that good friends can always pick right up where they left off.

(And that the best friends will have you rolling on the floor in no time flat. :-D)

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

The Female Friend:

“Now, how long had you been seeing him?”

“Eight years”

     ~pause ~

“That’s a long time… 

       Well, you can’t say you’re not good at long-term relationships!”

“Yeah, particularly long-term relationships that ultimately go nowhere.”

She paused again for a moment, then grinned.

“Is there a crown for that?!? You need a crown…!!!"

So I retrieved (and donned) the rhinestone tiara that I keep on hand in my kitchen (what? doesn’t everyone?!?) and we giggled the blues away.

`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

The Male Friend:

“re: your lovelife and its continuing disappointments. So…, what’s the problem?”

I laughed so hard I nearly snorted coffee out my nose.

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The Support of Old Friends.

What would life be without it? :-p

Stardate: Vacation

Made your plans yet?

Spock knows where the Enterprise is going...

In Which I Channel Miss Emily Litella

Hot.

Muggy.

Not a day to lounge in bed, despite the fact that it’s the weekend. Instead, I figure I’ll just get up and go the gym while it’s quiet and cooler. I don’t even have any coffee first - I make it but leave it cooling on the counter, to enjoy over ice when I get back.

Groggy and uncaffeinated (if you think it sounds like I’m building up excuses for some idiocy about to come, you are absolutely correct, btw,) I hop on the rowing machine. The long, rhythmic pulls and low rumbles of the chain lull me into a soporific state. 

Dreamily, I stare at one of the TV screens, distantly noticing the color and action. 

party…

soda…

pizza…

manic dancing…

hand to mouth…

“SMUT” 

~Say What?!?!?~

Thoughts jostle in my brain:

Hey! This is a family gym…!

What a stoopid product name…

What does pizza have to do…?

oh… 

wait…

That TV is on the back wall -

I’m watching it in the mirror.

nevermind…

Summer Project Overload?

Me, too.

Home and work, both kicking my butt.

I may need to start filing my auriculae...