Them Darned Dog Days

(not mine, sadly)

I'm really not sure how some of you manage to continue posting on a somewhat-regular basis during the summer, but I am darned impressed, I can tell you! I myself am scrambling just to stay sort-of on top of the stuff I have to do, much less find time for what I want to do.

And forget kink. 

BG is even busier than I am, more's the suckage.

So instead of prurient anecdotes, I shall regale you instead with this laundry list of 

"The Vanilla Madnesses Trying To Eat My Life":

Work is nuts -- but when is that not the case?

The heat, while enervating to body and soul, has not yet parched my lawn sufficiently that I can get away with devoting any less than three hours every seven days to mowing it.

It's taking approximately 30 trips with the watering can out to the back-forty every third or fourth day to keep my veggies from turning up their toes. (I do bicep and tricep curls during the walk to maximize my utility.)

There's so much grass in my garden, I think I spotted buffalo running through the asparagus…

I have cut, loaded, hauled, and unloaded over 3,000 pounds of brush. (Fer true - the recycling place has a scale.) I have, at best guess, another 1,000 pounds or so to go. (Assuming nothing else breaks and falls in the meantime.)

Having finished re-mortaring one wall of my basement, another side has sprung a leak. (This would be the one with the workbenches bolted to the foundation for stability…)

I finally saved up enough to pay for repairs to my garage -- which means there is no longer any excuse not to scrape, sand, and paint. (Expect to hear of my annual blood sacrifice to The God of the Ladder any day now…)

I have become a dedicated Killer of All Things. 

Mice, moles, termites, ants, wasps, mosquitos, weeds, poison ivy…

You name it, I'll kill it.

(Well, my guilt over last year's unfortunate snake massacre has stayed my hand in that direction but I AM leveraging serious deterrents to get Junior off my back porch.)

HOWEVER--

It cannot be said that I am not finding some fun tucked in among the madness.

It is, after all, ice cream season - and I found Boston Cream Pie on sale!

Plus, I'm eating panzanella again. 

Lots of it. (ah, the meals of summer...!)

Not to mention, the corn stand opened for the season last week.

And, oh, yeah…

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt…  :-D

He is STILL a Rock God!

Another Bullet Dodged

"You will be straddling two stacked cushions, sitting on a vibrator..."

Obediently, I'm on the cushions.

My hands have been bound behind his back.

"Are you sitting on a vibrator?"

"Yes, sir"

The discerning ears caught something…

"And is the vibrator turned ON?"

"Well,… no sir. You bound my hands before I could do that."

He gives me an "oh, for pete's sake" look and reaches down.

Without thinking, because my vibes are all different, I say, "you turn the knob."

(The world stops.)

A deadly calm voice intones, "I have used these before."

*oh crap*

"ummm, yes! 

yes, you have, sir! 

Very well even, sir.

As I certainly know, sir."

(a thousand-one crickets, a thousand-two crickets, a thousand-three crickets…)

"ok, well, umm,… I... I'm just gonna go back to my task down here now, sir."

"Good. Idea."

*click!* 

*brrrrrrrrrrrrr….*

(The world resumes it's movement.)

"Now slut, you will…"

"Of course, sir. With pleasure, sir."

*phew!*

TMI Tuesday - Kind of a Tough One

That’s what I like about…

Me?

1. Tell us about you in 10 words or less.

  Quirky, curious, reserved, sharp, scatterbrained, witty, loyal, naive, obtuse.

2. What radio stations do you regularly listen to?

  Not radio so much as history and society/culture podcasts.

  (Go, "How Stuff Works"!)

3. What color are your eyes today?

  Oh, the usual blue/grey/green … with gold flashes.

4. Did you shave today?

Surprisingly, yes.

  (you've got about a one in five chance on that one!)

5. What’s your personality?

  According to a bestie, "tricky" (as in, "to pinpoint")

   (fortunately, my friends love me anyhow...)

6. Tell us two things that most people mention they like about you.

  The way I use language.

  The connections and comparisons I see weaving through life.

Bonus: How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

  Somewhere between 38 and 42, I think.

I Can Die Happy Now...

I tried a different farmer's market this morning and stumbled across this:

raspberry-peach-granola crumble

Honestly? O.M.F.G. is all there is to say about this stuff.

This and an iced coffee and I can almost forget that life has been a gaping maw of hell recently. In fact, I may even be smiling…!  :-)

They also had some really gorgeous cucumbers at a good price, so I'm already whipping up a batch of cold cucumber soup. Yes, I know the heat is supposed to break a bit this weekend, but really, it's only dropping seven degrees, from 92 to 85. That's still quite warm enough for cold cucumber soup. And more reason to smile. Plus, fresh corn. 

(Need I say more?)

So, yummy food, predicted dip in temps, some crap at work finally shaking out…

Life is looking better.

Now if BG and I can just work through our latest bout of hiccups, my life will be completely grand again.

In the meantime,

        

(Then ice it!)

A Purely Vanilla Concern

So, I have one of these coming up shortly:

And since I want to look my best for the pictures, I've been mulling over my festive headgear choices. But I'm having trouble deciding -- so I'm throwing it out there to you guys.

Which do you think?

This one is cute and appropriate-

but is it just me or does this hat makes me look fat?

This one is more slimming and it's certainly colorful-

but I find myself feeling vaguely queasy, somehow.

Personally, I'm leaning toward this one.

Bold, dashing, and with that "woman of mystery" look to it-

but I'm afraid those straps will drag thru the ice cream...

(Because there WILL be ice cream!!)

So, c'mon.

Place your votes! 

Haute Cuisine

I made a magnificent dinner the other evening, if I do say so myself.

  sugar snap peas roasted with leeks and tomato

  summer squash with gremolata

  ginger garlic shrimp

I am reliably informed that it was all "fantastic",

 the veggies tasty, the shrimp "excellent - done to perfection"

I wouldn't really know.

I was underneath the table at the time...

but it sounded good.  :-)

Almost an HNT

Tired, hot, sticky, and crabby people often DO feel better when they do this:

if only I could figure a way to telecommute from here…

(ok, nilla?)

STILL...

busy, hot, sticky, tired, and crabby.

Not to mention completely not in the mood to sit with a hot machine on my lap and write.

But not so much that I won't check my stats -- where I could not help but notice...

Someone new visited my blog a few days ago.

They landed, 

     they searched for "girdle", 

        they searched for "enema", 

          they got no joy  … 

They left.

I feel their pain -- I disappoint me, too...

A Sparkling Holiday

Busy, hot, sticky, tired,... and crabby.

But never too much so to wish everyone a Happy Fourth of July!!!

(I'm combining a couple of July themes here, did you notice?)

Enjoy the day, all!