Patience On A Monument

  (Twelfth Night, Act 2, Scene 4)

My relationship with BG is in many ways good and solid and fulfilling -- but it also leaves much to be desired. There are a lot of things that I want that are not going to be possible for a while yet. Life has thrown him some real doozies of curve balls and those are the things that have to be dealt with first. I may hate that but his priorities are sound, even though they mean I need to wait my turn.

And you know, there are days I'd love to sit down and whine about that. Long and loudly.
A big ol' country song full of soulful, twangy lament.

Except that would just be wrong.

He's been honest and up front about each challenge as it occurred. He is good and honorable and does not shirk a responsibility when it gets hard and I respect the hell out of him for that. The challenges are his, yet he's not whining, he's doing the best he can, so who am I to stamp my little foot?

Besides, I am not without responsibility or free will. If this is really not what I want from life, I've got two feet and I know how to use them.
If I'm still here, then I need to accept that it's my decision to be here and just STFU.

Which is very hard sometimes.
I am not by nature noble, so it's far more tempting to just pitch a fit.
(Or sing a song.)
Silence is not easy.
And there are times I wonder if it's worth it, after all.

Until he hugs me and says, "Thank you" -- then words die in my throat. And Patience climbs back onto her monument, once more smiling -- but not at grief.
Because she remembers why she sat here in the first place.

I Am Deeply Suspicious

So, remember that time that BG came over while he was trying to quit smoking and had forgotten his patch?
(Refer to grousing in "An Open Letter From My Boobs")
Well, that attempt apparently didn't go so well, because he's been patch-free practically since that day.
And frankly, my boobs have enjoyed the respite.
There's been torture, sure, but nothing like the level reached that day.

fast forward to last week…

*ping!* goes my phone.

"Got time this evening?"
"Sure!"
"Good, cuz  it's Day 12 of the patch again and I'm VERY frustrated."
*oh, crap*

Yep, he was frustrated.
Yep, it was taken out on the boobs again.

He feels better --
I?... smell a rat.

Can you spell "scam"???

FetLife Fail

I was sent a screenshot of a FetLife profile... quite the piece of writing, I must say. Purportedly by a slavegirl who's into 24/7, it details how she craves hard and extreme use, and wants to please her master with the whole of her body - and all of her holes -- and lists a number of the seemingly unlimited acts she'd be willing to perform. (Including being "a bowl of cum [for my] Master.")

Now, there were definite clues that this profile was spurious but even so, I found myself thinking, "It's people like you who spoil it for the rest of us...!"

Because I could just imagine my profile in comparison...

"Situational sub willing to occasionally serve a Dominant. No longer a n00b but not quite "experienced" either, I'm stubborn and lippy and prone to telling you exactly what I think of that idea you just proposed. Fairly weenie-ish, I enjoy bondage and some degree of pain play but if you attempt to objectify or humiliate me, I will most likely bite something dear to you.

Our power exchange would range from total at times to completely non-existent at others.
My wishes are to make my Dom happy as long as that doesn't entail making myself miserable in the process.

I am educated, sometimes charming, occasionally amusing, but most often sarcastic.
I enjoy being guided and controlled.
I will be happy to proffer my whole body for your use.
Please do not expect me to clean your ears with my tongue."

Not really at the cum-bowl level, is it...?
*sigh*
;-p

Silly Colors for a Parachute

I can't be the only one who daydreams about throwing it all aside and starting fresh. So sometimes, I consider my options...

There's:
  Wrinkle Chaser
  Chicken Sexer
  Coin Facilitation Officer
  Commercial Space Hunter
  Remedy Engineer
  Technology Evangelist
  Circuit Princess (I need this on a T shirt...)
  Director of Fabrication (I am SO all over this one!)
  Lay Proselytizer (oooo! oooo!)

Not Under Consideration, However:
  Pig Wanker

Ah, the power of words...
What would YOU be?

Buggering Heights

So, I left out one tiny little detail in my last story.
It may seem minor, yet as any woman can tell you, it's huge.

That stuff I did ... ?
I did while wearing heels.

And I do mean heels.
No modest kitten heel here.
Proper "raise 'em 'til you teeter" Fuck-Me's.

Usually, my pragmatism wins out over my vanity and the FM's stay in the closet, where I just coo over them periodically. But I had a brand spankin' new, SERIOUSLY well-ventilated slut-dress that required an equally "no-holds-barred" approach to one's toilette.

So, I broke out the shoes.
Heck, I even put on .... makeup!
(Which he kissed-and-made-me-cry'd off me before I ever left the couch.)
Those shoes, however?
My ankles ached, the toes scuffed the rug, the heels caught in the almost-fabric of my dress -- but the shoes Stayed On.

Until... my rise to upright and the subsequent door fastening.

You see, we both love The Door but it's actually the most problematic of all our props. You can't just hoist my arms up straight and leave me dangling helplessly against the wood, as a Domly sort might want. Instead, I end up having to slip my fingers over the lintel in order to avoid banged knuckles. Drives him nuts.

And in these shoes, that lintel supported my wrists.
Absolutely NO suspension involved at all.

"*sigh* -- No. This isn't going to work. You are just Too Tall."

So (in a historic moment,) he knelt at my feet, pausing only to turn off the buzzing vibrator as it danced itself across the hardwood floor. Gentle hands unbuckled first one strap, then the other, and slipped the FM's from my feet.

"Great shoes, tho'. Definitely an "A" for presentation..."

Now, I realize this was ultimately a better choice than just draping my wrists over the top of the door and slamming it into position. (Which I'm *pretty sure* he contemplated...)
And realistically, I don't know HOW the heck I would have stayed upright on those puppies, given the balancing act I ended up performing.

But still... those shoes looked GOOD, dammit!

I am definitely going to have to look into ceiling hooks...

He Does Make Me Laugh

I wait on the couch, stuffed to the gills with vibe and plug, as directed.
He leans down to kiss me as he removes his belt and undoes his jeans.
Then stuffs my mouth full as well.
"Don't stop, now!"

He reaches over and grabs the rope I have set out.
"Stay on it!"
(It is a DARNED good thing I'm flexible, can I just mention?)

"Give me your hand..."
     *wrap, wrap, wrap ... tug!*

"Now, bring the other one up... hold them both there."
     *loop, swish, loop, loop ... tug!*
     *YANK!*

"Now, without any interruption to sucking my cock, I want you to get on your knees, and you're going to crawl over to the door."

I drop to my nice carpeted floor.
Hands still levered high above my head, mouth full of cock, I am led across the room, through the (still carpeted) short hallway, and onto the (ouch!) hardwood floor in front of The Door.

"Did you keep the vibe in you that whole way?"
"mmmmHMmmphb!"
"Very Good! ... Now, stand up..."

He keeps the tension on my hands and waits as I slide one foot in front of me and rise to standing. I straighten, rather pleased with myself.
The triumph is brief.

*CLACK!!*  *brr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr-rrr*
     "Well, the vibe's not in me now..."

*thud!*
     "And, um, neither is the plug..."

*evil grin*
"That's OK. I'm gonna to need to get in there soon, anyhow..."

Sad Day in Jz-land

 Thanks, man.

*sigh*

photo from Apple.com

The Joys of Pyrex

I got a little carried away and splurged on a slightly pricey new vibrator.
(There was a sale, what can I say?)

It's Shiny. It's Slickery. It's Silver...
It's Glass.

Ooooooooooooooooo!

BG wanted to know how it compares to him. *grin*
Since I've never yet found a vibrator that can tie knots, wield a flogger, or kiss like a fiend, his position is quite safe.
But otherwise …?
He might have been getting Friday nights off.

Because this thing ... is a thing of beauty.
The size is entirely satisfying - anywhere you use it. *delicate cough*
The ultra-smooth surface is FAB!
(My delicate bits are extremely sensitive to many of the more common materials, so I was tickled pink to find a vibrator that my body welcomes eagerly, as opposed to flinching away from.)

There's only one test I've put it through that it doesn't pass with flying colors.
I tried it as a "gag-reflex-taming" device - and danged near chipped a tooth.

Oh ... and if you're going to have it ripped from your body and rolled beneath you while he fucks you until you see God, you might want to turn it off first. Otherwise, you could end up with strange bruises on your coccyx.
(Another of the many things you shouldn't ask me how I know...)

But other than those minor details ...

Next sale, please!
(It comes in other colors, y'know...)