Cyberdeals I Somehow Overlooked

The Bob Ross “Happy Little Blanket”:

to “keep yourself warm and fuzzy with positive vibes”

(and happy little trees)

(ThinkGeek)

Brainwave Controlled Cat Ears:

mfgr discontinued, so get ‘em while you still can! 

(Amazon)

A pointless Nicholas Cage throw pillow:

???

Please help me understand...

(society6.com)

The world’s most unfortunately-named product:

The Smeg Mixer

(you go find it… I can’t even…)

The Death Star Tree Topper:

Because nothing says “Peace on Earth” like a weapon of planetary destruction…

(ThinkGeek)

And while we’re on a Star Wars roll…

This one, I’m actually sorry I missed.

(ThinkGeek again)

How about you guys?

Get good stuff?

Miss out on any winners?

Holidays in Space

OK, Thanksgiving is over - we can get on with Christmas now!

Traditionally, this weekend is when we start to think about our holiday decorations.

If you're looking for ideas, this one's big on the Enterprise this year:

(psst! Don’t forget to think about cookies, too!)

The Thanksgiving Rabbit Hole

So, I went looking for a Thanksgiving image to share with you all. I had a couple of perfectly nice choices to go with, but the return of my lurking anonymous blunderbuss hero made me think to search out some vintage photos again.

And I found some!

And yet… I also found myself somewhat disturbed.

It started with Stepford Barbie - she gave me the creeps.

Then I found myself thinking that this woman looks just a little too perky as she stretches out that turkey’s neck…

True, Laurel and Hardy were amusing.

And this one wasn’t bad, altho’ why on earth you’d walk a turkey en pointe escapes me. 

(OK, actually the whole “put your turkey on a leash” notion escapes me, but I was more distracted by the toe shoes, so I stick with that.)

Nor would this have likely unsettled me, had I not just listened to a “Stuff To Blow Your Mind” podcast about zoophilia…

But this was definitely disquieting. ("Put the knife down, Joan...")

As was this. (waaay too cheerful for what's going on...)

And at this one, I had to just put my computer down and walk away.

Basically, this year, my comfort zone is in clipart.

Enjoy The Day, All!

A Brief History of Cookies

Wheee!!! It’s time to talk cookie exchange again! 

     (Smile if you like talking about cookies.)

If all you want to know is how to sign up for the exchange, then scroll straight to the baker at the bottom of the post. Meanwhile, I’m going to address the question Olivia lobbed back at me.

Yes, please tell me the story of how the great cookie exchange got started! 

It’s a simple story. I actually thought about doing one the very first Christmas that I was blogging but it felt too ambitious, not to mention “forward” for a nebbishy noob. So I left it - but the next holiday season found the idea still niggling at the back of my mind. It just felt like we needed a vehicle to expand the ways in which we bonded. While a lot of us started our blogs for a single purpose, we are all multi-faceted… and I wanted to see the other facets!

I mentioned my idea while chatting with a then-blogging chum (shout out to Striving For Peace, wherever you are now!) and she encouraged me to Just Do It! - and even offered to give me a hand with getting the word out. (Two newish, largely-unknown blogheads being better than one.)

So, I posted an invitation, crossed my fingers, and sat back to see what would happen. My rule of thumb throughout the years has been that as long as I get six people to join in, we’ll go forward… but I have to admit that I’ve been delighted to hit double-digits every time so far. :-D Participation has fluctuated from year to year but there’s a fairly solid core of stalwart regulars who keep us going strong.

Over the years, we’ve outgrown the cookie container and expanded into candies, cakes, rolls, snacks, appetizers, drinks, liqueurs, and roasts. Indeed, were I blessed with foresight, I would have named this event The Great Online Holiday Goodie Exchange Extravaganza right from the start. But I didn’t, and I can’t be bothered to change it now, so there you go.

The event is open to any blogger who wants to play along. 

(With this caveat: it was started by a then-kinky blogger - and most of the crowd has some sort of connection to kink. You may find some of the bloggers to be somewhat, ummm… “cheeky”... in their approach. *ahem* If you’re not comfortable being associated with that, then just read and drool from the sidelines - I completely understand.)

But… if you’re feeling reckless (and/or peckish) then please do sign up to join us!

The date for this year’s increasingly inaccurately named 
         Great Online Cookie Exchange Extravaganza 
                  is Thursday, December 7th.

The deadline to sign up is noon on Tuesday, December 5th. (To allow for time to assemble and distribute the participant list that people will add to their posts.)

The rules for participating are simple:

         On Dec. 7th - post a recipe for any holiday goodie. 

That’s it for rules.  

         *dusts off hands*

Your recipe doesn’t have to be for a cookie.

Nor do you even need to sign up to join us - you’ll just be doing so in anonymity if you don’t.

To sign up:

         Email me by noon on Dec 5th.  

What I need:

         Your screen name and the URL of your blog. 

         (OK, I also need your email address but I’ll have that if you email, right?)

                  If I don’t get those 3 things, you won’t make the participant list. 

                  (Sorry, but I’m done with chasing people.)

That’s it, tho’.

An email, three details, and one post... and a whole lotta fun will be yours.

And ours. ;-D

On your mark, get set..., BAKE!

Thanksgiving Aboard the Enterprise

They’re still debating the menu but the chef is ready! 

LOL Day 2017

Aaaaand…

We’ve landed on Love Our Lurker Days again!

I like to think we have a good relationship, oh Best Beloved Lurkers. I sincerely appreciate you and hope that you know that I’m glad you’re out there, in all your silent comfort and support. I have tried to make a point of being vocal about my fondness for you.

Just in case I’ve been more subtle than I think, however…

All of you.
Be you chatterbox or intriguingly quiet, I am truly glad you are here.

However…

(and this is the part that will pain the lurking souls, but I’m gonna go there anyhow…)

I remind you that love is, after all, a two-way street.

So, as a particular, “Jz Has Had a Hard Year” treat for me, won’t you, my silent majority, please consider a temporary abandonment of your bashful ways and say something to me?
I know, it's not really fair to ask you to celebrate your own special Lurkers day by not-lurking.
But you'll notice that isn't stopping me... :-D  (I am a bitch, after all - check the title!)

I'll help, however... I’ll pepper you with questions to (hopefully) loosen your tongues.

Got any good book suggestions for the upcoming long, cold months?

Perhaps you have some suggestions as to what kind of posts you’d like to see me write more of? (Please keep this realistic, however. “Find a new man and write kinky stuff again!” is gonna get you nothing more than a heartfelt, “your lips to God’s ears!"..., followed by a whole lot of petulant silence of my own.)

Maybe you are wondering about the whys and wherefores of the whole (coming soon!) Great Online Cookie Exchange Extravaganza thing?

Talking Christmas things, I’m actually pretty darned curious about how many of you out there participate in Ugly Christmas Sweater Days?

          Have you done so? Annually or only once, under duress?

          If you don’t participate, why not?

          If you do, what is the ugliest sweater you’ve ever worn?

          Have you ever won the ugliest sweater prize???

                    (I have! :-D)

Any good stain-removal hints you'd be willing to share?

          (you know, food and sweaters...)

You need not limit yourself to these questions, of course.

And, as always, a simple “hello” will do just fine, as well.

(But I really AM curious about those ugly sweaters…)

Thanks for lurking, all!

The Rush to Holiday

(file this under, "Peevish Girl Speaks")

I won't lie - it irritates me when stores have out their Christmas merchandise before it’s even Halloween... but I get it. Retailers have a financial imperative propelling them along and they need to take us with them if they hope to succeed. So I grin and bear it.

HOWEVER…

The radio station that started playing Christmas music on November 1st? 

Really needs to just stop.

Plain and simple, that’s just Too Early. I flat out refuse to sing carols on Election Day. Or to serenade my favorite veteran with a rousing chorus of Jingle Bells on November 11th… For heavens sake, not only is it not Thanksgiving yet, we haven’t even had Love Our Lurkers Days yet! (Comin’ atcha this Friday/Saturday!)

I’ll concede that Christmas music for Black Friday helps put people in the mood to buy gifts, but that’s the farthest I’m willing to bend. (Well yes, it’s also nice to have carols for Cookie Day - also comin’ atcha soon. But that,at least, actually takes place IN December…)

And relatedly, since I’m Scrooging out all over the place anyhow…

Can I tell you how COMPLETELY aggrevating I find it to be barraged by Christmas music in November, but there isn’t a single note of it to be found from Dec 26th until the following Halloween?

My Season of Joy extends through New Year’s. It does not stop when the clock strikes 12 on Christmas night - so neither should the music. *emphatic nod*

Thank you, I feel better now.

There's a Meme For That?

Sheesh, there's really nothing going on around here other than a serious pre-holiday cleaning binge, but how the HECK am I supposed to tie that to anything Sp...

       

oh.

Nevermind...!

Ambushed (Again)

I ran into one of life’s inevitable sequence of events the other day.

You know the kind I mean:

Get the credit card bill paid off? 

        Something large and expensive and utterly necessary will break.

Late getting out of the house in the morning?

        Every school bus in the world will be on the roads - right smack in front of me.

New pants?

        I will snag the selfsame spot on the front right thigh the first time I wear them.

Break up with someone?

(Well, okay. I suppose there’s more than one thing you can absolutely count on in that situation…  But one that gets me every time… that I don’t hear a lot of other people mentioning…)

        Get reduced to tears by condoms.

Yep. Completely ridiculous tho' that is, that's what happens to me.

Every single stinking time, at some point, I'll have a crying jag triggered by unused condoms.

To make matters worse, I’d thought I was safe, that I had gotten out of jail free this go-round. 

But I swear, those damned things are like ninjas - they lurk in the background, biding their time until you’ve been lulled into a false sense of security, then, *BAM!*, when you least expect it, they leap forth from the depths to assault your self esteem. Darting and feinting and singing, “Never, never, never again!”, they bludgeon you emotionally: calling you disparaging names, taunting you with their approaching expiration date, and mocking you for daring to contemplate the possibility that you might actually ever get the chance to use one of them again.

It's a relentless attack that continues until you’re sobbing with The Futility Of It All, then they have the nerve to retreat for cover behind the one small shard of hope that still clings tenuously to life in the back corner of the the drawer - so that even as your hand reaches out to throw them away, you hesitate. Sneaky, rat-bastard sons of latex…

GAD, I hate this particular aftereffect!

Health Talk Day at the Vulcan Academy

You know...

     *that* one...

(I love how he's blushing green)

The Halloween Miracle

You may have heard that New England experienced a bit of a storm early this week?

I was one of those over 1 million left without power, along with pretty much my entire town. 

Initially, the power company was confidently predicting repairs within 24 hours… then they decided that maybe that wasn’t realistic - and announced we should prepare to wait up to a week.  *bah*

Annoying as “no lights, no water, no internet” was, however, the worst was that it started to look as though there would be no Halloween this year. This was extremely disappointing. Despite my advanced age, I am a true kid at heart and I just love to make a big fuss about Halloween. I like to carve elaborate jack o’lanterns, put out spooky candles, have eerie (but not truly scary) movies on rotation in the DVD, and just generally revel in the atmosphere of it all. But with no power, none of that was going to happen. Seriously, even bracketing the power-dependent movies, what parent in their right mind is going to let their children go trick or treating along country roads with no streetlights - knocking on doors of the pitch-dark houses of strangers? No one I know, certainly.

I resigned myself to a dismal holiday evening.

But then, late in the afternoon of the 31st, I discovered that a Halloween Miracle had occurred! The power company had performed an eleventh-hour save and We Had Lights! 

(And water, and internet!)

YAY!!  Let The Halloweening Begin!

…Except now I was completely unprepared.

I hadn’t carved my pumpkin, because that’s just too messy a task when you’re eking out your second day from a single potful of water (yes, this one caught a lot of us woefully unprepared); the spooky candles were still languishing in the previously impenetrably dark recesses of the basement; and most importantly, The Candy needed to be set out! (I hadn’t dared open the bag early, because I don’t hold to that dubious philosophy of buying bad candy so you won’t eat any… it doesn’t work AND it’s the quickest way to get your windows soaped that I know. Plus, it offends my moral principles to spend good money on bad candy. But that means that the bag must remained sealed until the last possible moment.)

So there was much scrambling to be done at Casa de Jz.

The spooky candles were duly located, dusted, and exchanged for the heavy-duty utility candles on the bookcases. The evening’s DVD selection (Sleepy Hollow, for the win!) was placed in the machine at the ready. The candy bowl was disinterred, scrubbed out (possibly rinsed longer than necessary - just because I could,) and filled. (Check out this God tier assortment!) 

Then the pumpkin was hastily carved, altho’ the last-minute nature of the work forced a change of design and required an aberrantly large nose to disguise a pumpkin blemish. Nonetheless, a cheery, if bulbous-nosed, visage was the result.

My jovial jack o’lantern was propped up in the window and all candles were lit juuuuust as the first echoes of laughing children started wafting through the air. I snapped on the porch light (possibly flicked it on and off an extra couple of times - just because I could,) and had barely put the matches away before the first knock came. I waved the first round of revelers on their way, sat down within arm’s reach of the candy bowl, and hit “play” on the remote.

Aaaaaaaah.... bliss.

How was your Halloween?