In Which My Dreams of Wealth Crumble

I’ve added another 4 HUGE piles of brush to the back field…

But I still won’t be launching my home-made toilet paper empire any time soon.

Those 4 piles? Are almost entirely briars, brambles, and wild rose vines. 

I just can't think of a mulcher I'd trust that much.

Practicing Optimism

(some of the downed limbs)

I should be able to get a roll out of this, don’t you think?

ok, fine...

maybe half?

Text Snippet #829

Jz: […] then BG said, "let's sashay out of here"... 

and I asked, "Oooh! May I actually sashay?" 

           "If you must, sure"

SP: and did you?… 

I love it when you sashay… you do it so beautifully.

Jz: Actually, no, I did not. 

I was not dressed appropriately, so it would have lacked effect.

SP: ah yes. 

Sashaying without the proper flowy skirt isn’t truly sashaying at all...

Jz: I LOVE your immediate grasp of the essentials!

The Spice Trade

Thelma is a marvelous hostess. Her house is always tidy, cushions inevitably plumped, her patio is an oasis of calm (as long as the neighbors aren’t mowing) and there is always plenty of tea to savor. (You may make your own if you prefer, but please be sure to do so in the Approved Manner, or you may never hear the end of it.) She can even produce a small coffee maker for the barbarians among us who prefer our brews to be seed, rather than leaf, based. (Truer love hath no friend.)

Thelma does not, however, enjoy cooking as much as I do, so while there is always food on hand, it's not unusual to find me called upon to transform said food items into “a dish”. 

So there I was, relaxing on the patio with my coffee, when my friend looked over at me and mused, “I seem to recall you make a scrumptious peach cobbler... I think you should use the peaches off my tree and make us one. Like…, right now!” 

I was marginally loathe to bestir myself, but on the other hand… I do make a danged good peach cobbler. And these were fresh peaches - which did need to be used fairly soon, Plus, you know, there’s always that vacation/treat relationship to maintain…

So I looked up a recipe (not quite mine but very close) and we checked to see that we had everything on hand, with me calling out ingredients to Thelma as she rummaged through her cupboards, extracting each one in turn. (Sugar - check! Flour - check! Egg - check! Nutmeg - check! Butter - check! Peaches - check!)

Soon, we had a nice, orderly row of sugar and spice and everything nice lined up on her counter, just waiting for me to begin. She unearthed her mixer, set the oven to preheat, and retired with her tea to the patio, while my coffee and I took over the kitchen. I measured and tossed, peeled and sliced, spread and baked. Then it was my turn to retire to the patio, while Thelma came in for cleanup duty.

I had just settled back into my book when I heard peals of infectious laughter ringing out from the kitchen. A head popped out the back door and Thelma’s grinning face looked at me. 

          “Did you actually look at the nutmeg?”

          “Uh, noooo… I operated on blind trust. - Was that a mistake?” 

Still chuckling, she held out the small bottle for me to read.

          “Ah. Ummmm … Whoopsie!!?!”

It turned out okay, tho’.

We’ve decided that Mustard-Crusted Peach Cobbler is actually magnificently trend-setting.

You wait… it will be all the rage any day now!

Just One Woman's Opinion

Call me overly picky if you will, YouTube, but…

I can’t say I agree that walking around with 7 rolls of toilet paper in your hair 

is going to make anyone look "brilliant”.

"Danged foolish" feels much more apt.

I know. I have SUCH a limited imagination…

Small But Significant Thing #23

(much like SBST #8)

We are in the throes of passion.

          (Not yet at the height of ecstasy but really, very serious throes.)

He groans out words of praise -

          which said throes garble into a grammatical blooper.

Still groaning, still throe’ing…

          he corrects his verb tense consistency.

Really, is it any wonder I’m so nuts about this man?

A Perfect Storm

I wanted something a little different for today, so I went down a Spock rabbit hole on Google…

and landed here:

Spock Socks

(from www.thesockspot.com)

Well, those are certainly different!

Snorting, I followed the link… 

and discovered a back view that is even more ridiculous than the front:

I was so distracted by the absolute absurdity of these beauties that I almost missed the comment displayed in the customer survey field.

Why Did You Buy These Socks?

“as a gift for a 62 year old Trekkie who just had a tumor removed from his brain”

...

... ...

... ... ...

I think I’m going to just stop right here.

Dang It!

National Pancake Day and I missed it!

I sure hope someone was able to pick up my slack…

Thanks, dude.

Ummm, Not Yet...

I’m still having trouble catching up with life enough to have time to blog.

          (sorry!)

I do, however, have a brief moment to bring you this public service appeal:

Happy Friday, all!

The Joy of Piffle

Beside the astrological follies, birthday week festivities also included a dinner & movie date with BookMan - who loves to end his emails with some of the most magnificent piffle you will ever have the pleasure of reading:

     “I remain, breathless as always at the prospect of seeing your unearthly beauty”

     “OK, “unearthly” might be a bit over the top, even for me…”

     “Celestial?  Awe-inspiring? Breathtaking? Dumbfounding?  Record-shattering?  

          Somehow, ‘a bit above the national average’ seems so ... inadequate.”

I giggled until it hurt.

No need to worry about me fitting my swollen head through the doorway, however.

For one thing, hard on the heels of receiving that gem, I came across another meme, which reminded me that Libras (I’m lookin’ at you, BookMan!) are “a little too good at lying…” 

(OK, piffle isn't really a lie - but it's clearly not the truth either, so not to be taken seriously.)

Plus, I do own a mirror.

But still, the piffle itself is grand, don't you think?

;-D

The Grossly-Misrepresented Crab

Trust me on this:

Wrong.

Just... Wrong.

Really, Really Wrong.

And (did I mention?) Wrong.

The Lavish Crab

OK, this one made me laugh:

Selective Generosity:

A Moonchild will give and give because they love being generous. 

But don’t ever ask to borrow their personal stuff because it was all carefully selected, especially for their very particular needs. 

Basically, it's “Touch it and die… let me buy you lunch instead!”

Laughing and, yes…

          *raising my hand*

The Mistaken Crab

Still on the lookout for new insights into the Moonchild mind, I got briefly excited when I swung by TheLoveQueendotcom and read the words, “Cancers are natural born warriors.”

To further fuel my imagination, she also proclaimed that the Cancer's tarot card is The Chariot.

And just like that, my Inner Boadicea sprang to life.

Drive these perfidious invaders from our land!

Lay waste the raping swine!
Sack Londinium! 

It was a proud moment for me.

Except then I realized I’d done that "brain skipping ahead of my eyes" thing again and that what the LoveQueen was actually telling us is that Cancers are natural born worriers…

And, just like that, I went from being the Scourge of Rome to,

"Does this cloak make my butt look big?”

*dammit*

The Sensible Crab

Another item off the list about Cancers as Awesome Friends:

They will keep you from making bad decisions.

While Cancers love to explore and be adventurous, they are also extremely rational and thoughtful when it comes to their decisions. Cancers will be game for anything, but they will draw the line when a situation is potentially harmful or can have repercussions in the future. Keeping a Cancer around is a great way to avoid those horrible “I really shouldn't have done that” moments, which seem to crop up on sunny summer weekends.

Again, is this ability actually common among Moonchildren? I don’t know.

What I do know is that is IS one of my super-powers. I’m love getting into mischief, so I’m fun to take along on adventures but I’m also very good at curtailing the mischief before any of us topple into Stupidity. (After all, what’s the point of a wild adventure if you end up looking back at it with regret?)

This makes me very popular among my friends’ husbands... :-)

The Big-Mouthed Crab

I found this trait in an article about Why Cancers Make Awesome Friends.

I must say… I question it.

Cancers tell you what they REALLY think. No holds barred.

A Moonchild is NOT afraid to tell you exactly what he/she thinks. The Cancerian has got a lot of opinions and you better believe that they are going to share them with the world. They’re the kinds of people that will tell you exactly what is on their mind without any kind of filter… even if it’s not pretty. Whether or not you want to hear it, if you NEED to hear it, a Cancerian will say it. 

I’m not sure if this trait is necessarily one that’s prevalent in all Moonchildren, but I promise you, I have it - and I wish I didn’t. People are all entitled to their own beliefs, actions, and quirks. I am not the Arbiter of Everything, so I really should just STFU and mind my own beeswax. (And In my own defense, I don’t usually run around pontificating at the drop of a hat.)

However…

If you consistently lodge a complaint based on what I perceive to be flawed logic or poor analytical skills, after about the third time, my struggle begins. By the fourth or fifth iteration, I will succumb to the imperative to assist you toward clarity and proceed to give you the benefit of my opinion… 

*sigh*

It’s really kind of a wonder that I have any friends at all…

On the plus side, I’m quick to give a compliment. 

Partial credit?

Astrological Follies Week Begins!

Well, it’s that time of year again - when I celebrate the last week of the Sun in Cancer by telling you ALLLLL about what it’s like to be a Moonchild. I don’t like to simply regurgitate the same ol' stuff in the same ol' way however, so each year, I go looking for different Moonchild memes and descriptions. I did find a couple of new ones, and I’ll show you some of those later.

But for now, we’ll start with a widely accepted classic: Moodiness.

Altho' I think I prefer this particular spin on it:

But that, of course, got me thinking:

I don’t believe that Spock is a Moonchild, do you?

The 12 Gifts of Christmas - final gift (and a carol!)

Absolutely and without any debate,

THIS t-shirt wins The Most Perfect Gift Place.

This isn't just a giggle - I live this. (As can be attested to by the co-worker who once told me - after I apologized to him for cussing and losing control of my vocabulary - “That’s okay… I don’t duck until your grammar goes.”)

Now that we’ve gotten the gifts sorted out for this year, let’s kick back and enjoy a good holiday song. I usually like to find songs that are a bit off the beaten track, but this rendition is just so catchy that I am overlooking the fact that the album is smack in the middle of the iTunes homepage and posting it anyhow. I couldn’t find a pretty video version but this way, you can hit play and then go check out what Santa brought!

Merry Christmas, Everyone.

And a very happy holiday season to all.

The 12 Gifts of Christmas - 11

Well, we’re almost at the end of my extended burst of consumerism and avarice.

I'd feel bad about that but I’m too busy wanting THIS to worry about having been tacky.

Nor am I the only one not worried about being tacky...

The 12 Gifts of Christmas - 10

This shouldn’t surprise anyone who’s read here for a while but for those of you who are more recent readers, I’ll recap:

I have had:

a badly sprained ankle (six different times)

one broken arm

one broken hand

four different occurences of broken fingers

more broken toes than I can recall (I lost count after seven)

one skull fracture, with concussion.

Seriously, I need this keychain:

In fact, selkie is the only person I know who needs it more.

(Perhaps they are available in a 2-pack?)

The 12 Gifts of Christmas - 9

This wishlist item has a very sad tale to go along with it.

I’ve wanted this ornament for years, you see, but always put off any purchasing. I figured, “Some day when I have more money…” (like, hello? When is that actually likely to be?)

So imagine my distress when I went looking for a link to give you for this - and discovered that the artist discontinued the line in 2011!!!

All of the Laini’s Ladies ornaments were fun but this one is just me, through and through.

From the nerdy glasses, to the exuberant pose, right down to the twinkly red shoes.

(AND… Louisa May Alcott, my first favorite author, to boot.)

The Perfect Jz ornament... that I will never own.

If you’ll excuse me, I must go sob into my eggnog now...