Bob Ross in the 23rd Century

"Now let's add a happy little Vulcan…"

My Week In A Nutshell

Both jobs - same frickin’ day, even:

Ancient machines that have given up the ghost - last rites given.

No backups. (“What? Was *I* supposed to do that?”)

Frantic users hovering over my shoulders, suggesting things that wouldn’t work even if I could get the machine to boot - which, by the way, I cannot, because it’s DEAD, Jim.

I did NOT enjoy this week.

However, the week is finished, we've a long weekend ahead, and I’m off to Thelma’s.  :-D

Engaging Mood Change... Now!

In Which I Lead With My Chin

“Have you decided what position will best work for your hurting back?”

“Not yet - I am waiting for the ibuprofen to kick in first. You ok with a last-minute decision?”

“Sure... I'll be torturing your tits anyhow - I just want you comfortable while I do.”

(~later~ as he peeks around the corner to see which option I chose)

“Ooh, you went with the challenging choice - niiice!”

“Yes, I think it’ll be okay... I figure I'll just let you know if I need to change positions. I mean, you won’t mind if I scream, right?”

“Actually, I’m counting on it.”

Meanwhile, In Alternate Universe 479.2...

Maquis Tactics 101

“Works for me!” 

(*she whimpers from the floor*)

Squamata Ahead!

BG & I seem to have inadvertently stumbled into a common theme with our Christmas gifts for each other... Yep, 2020 is apparently going to be our Year of The Reptile.

First, he received a snakebit kit. (*ahem*)

I assured him during the entire opening process that his gift stemmed purely from my concern for his health… and I had him going until the box was fully unwrapped. *grin*

Then it was my turn... 

And I’m getting a Bad Dragon!

I get to pick which Bad Dragon, but a Bad Dragon it will be, by golly.

… *gulp*…

Have you guys ever actually looked at their products?!?

Holy Moses - talk about awe-inspiring…! 

        (Or, as gg says, “intimidating verging on terrifying”)

They are described as “fantasy-themed sex toys aimed at the furry community” but I have to admit that while browsing the site, the word “grotesquerie” kept popping into my head. There are some seriously ugly (and/or downright scary) toys on that site!  

On the other hand… there are also a decent number that elicited feelings of squirmy intrigue, so I’m NOT going to tell BG to forget the dragon and get me a good Vitamix instead. I just need to be selective - and there’s a lot of whittling to be done. 

Because I have questions:

Do I prefer scales, veins, or knots? What color is most enticing? Who finds the neon fungus look appealing? Which firmness? Why does that head look like a fringed vagina? Can I handle this girth? Who on earth would voluntarily let that Scaly Dick of Evil into their body? What kind of fool would order an Extra-Large from this company? What’s the happy medium between tips so pointy they make my cervix wince and ones that look like vulval battering rams? Can I get a suction cup on that? Wait, HOW many inches in circumference does that say?!?

These are the things a girl needs to know! 

(BG only asks if I'm sure I don't want the next size up.)

So, I'll let you know when the big Dragon Decision has been made.

p.s. And to gg, who asked: of course there are venomous snakes in my area. 

           Somewhere. 

                Surely…?