Another TMI Tuesday

(Hedone is persistent, what can I say?)
1. What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone?
     Midnight and of course.

2. If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
Well, since I get to dream big here, it would be either...
     A huge chunk of change that would become my retirement nest egg and remove that large monkey from my back
          OR
     A gift card for "free books from Amazon for the rest of my life!"
     Wheeeee!!!!!

3. What was the last film that really moved/disturbed/thrilled you and why?
     "Water" by Deepa Mehta.
It's lusciously beautiful, heartbreaking, yet hopeful enough that I don't want to slit my wrists.

4. What is your favorite way to wake up and what is the first thing you do?
     My favorite way to wake up is knowing that it's the weekend and I can roll back over, and the first thing I do then is just that.

5. You’ve been granted an extra hour in the day, what are you going to do?

     a. Sleep more

     b. Extend a sexual interlude

     c. Shop

     d. Finally fit in that workout that you usually can’t make time for

     E- Read more!
But, if I absolutely must choose from the list, I'd say a.
Sexual interludes run on BG time, not mine.
I do like to shop but I manage to do enough of it that I don't need an additional hour.
And while it's nice to dream that I'd use the time to workout, I know better.

But I'm ALWAYS low on sleep. Has to do with being a night-owl who is forced to function on a lark's schedule. I get up at oh-dark-thirty but never feel like bed in time to get a full eight hours of sleep. Or even seven.

BONUS:  Are you in love or lust?
     Definitely lust, but toeing the line into love, I think.

Talking Dirty?

I have to admit, I smiled a little while reading lunaKM's post about how to talk dirty. Not because of anything she wrote but simply because of where my mind leaped:
Step #1- Remove the dick from your mouth...

Now, there's much truth in that in my life but even when I'm not otherwise occupied, BG doesn't leave me much scope for talking dirty.  Or just plain talking.

Which is an interesting position for me to be in, since I spend much of my life operating in verbose mode. (I actually once asked him if it bothered him that for every word he sent me, he got 47 back? As I recall, he never did answer that ...!)

BG, on the other hand, is the master of brevity.
He knows how to convey much with very few words.
And does.

When we're playing, however, the tables are totally turned.
Mr. Taciturn disappears and I am drowning in growled commands and purred approval. His voice and words punch straight into me and shut down all my higher functions.
I don't think, I just feel.

I whimper, groan, moan, wriggle, nuzzle, arch, mewl, keen, yelp...
But I don't talk.
I can't  - I'm too enthralled by listening dirty.

He seems OK with that, though...

A Mechanical Girl

I had a Popcorn and Old Movie night the other evening and re-watched "White Nights". So if you heard strange, uncontrolled whimpering noises in the distance, it was probably me - when Mikhail Baryshnikov did this:

Holy Mother Of God Stabbed With A Knife!

My mouth watered, my hands ached to grope...
I hit rewind several times.

All the while laughing at myself as I did, because this is honest and truly not a typical reaction for me. As I have mentioned before, I'm not particularly drawn to strictly physical attributes. Parts is parts.

However, while laughing (and wiping fingerprints off the television screen,) I did recall once when I had experienced a purely physical reaction to the mere sight of a man. I couldn't tell you a thing about his looks. All I know is that he was hula-hooping -- and I was a puddle on the floor, mesmerized by the sway of his hips...
Mercy, could that boy move!

Then I thought about my years of dance training.
My love of gymnastics and Cirque du Soleil.
My fascination with sumo...

No, it's not any one shape or form that does it for me.
But apparently I am a complete sucker for how a shape or form is used.

It's body mechanics, it's control.
I like to see the body pushed beyond what most people consider normal limits.
(does any of this ring a bell?)

I realized then that it's probably no coincidence that I'm so satisfied by my submission to BG, because one of the things we both enjoy doing is precisely that kind of pushing. We each love to get me tied up into strange, esoteric positions and then given a seemingly impossible task.

Whether I succeed or not, there is much mutual enjoyment in the challenge.
(Plus, I kinda like the fact that he can stalk like a flippin' panther...)
oh my yes please sir...

Yeah, parts is parts.
What I like to see is what you can do with yours.
So I can think about what that will let you do with mine...  :-)

The Bogeyman

There's a irksome expression that had gone into hibernation for a while in my little neighborhood here in BlogLand, but it's cropping up again.
And I can't bite my tongue any longer.
So, I'm going to step right out on a fairly unpopular limb here and say that I think the whole concept of "topping from the bottom" is a bogeyman.

For all the furor this accusation creates, I don't think topping from the bottom is a thing that actually exists. I think it's a device, a warning Doms use to mold and control - but I don't believe it ever really happens.

A secure dominant will not be topped.
Nor will he be threatened by his sub expressing her opinion.
He will not see a differing viewpoint as an affront to his dignity.
Or tell her she's being uppity.
Rather, he will do as BG does:
Nod, smile, and do exactly what he chooses to anyhow.
Or ignore me completely -- and do exactly what he chooses to anyhow.

Either way, there's no chastisement. Because he doesn't see my opinion as a challenge his authority. He recognizes that I am simply stating a differing viewpoint, one I would like him to consider.

For my part, I do not expect him to agree with me.
I do not expect that my words will change anything that he is doing or alter a course.
I do, however, expect that he will have sufficient confidence in his own authority to be able to think about what I say without condemning me for manipulation.
I expect him to let me be heard.

This is not to say that I don't think subs ever get challenging or cantankerous.
I can be flippant.
I can be contrary.
I can be a pain in the ass.
I can tell you that my Dom knows how to stop me in my tracks when he wants to -- and never by resorting to high dudgeon. He calmly addresses the actual issue.
He does not LET me top.
It just can't happen.

Can we find another term, please?

Musings From My Yard

It is really much nicer to get my exercise walking down by the river -- where the roar of water rushing over the dam drowns out all sounds except the birds in the trees and the crunch of gravel underfoot -- than it is to manhandle an intractable, ear-splitting, gas-guzzling conglomeration of hand-numbingly-vibrating metal parts over two acres of grass that I've let get too high...
   
There IS such a thing as an ugly flower... so it's OK to mow over those.

The disk from an autopsied hard drive makes an excellent scraper for cleaning the underside of a mulching push-mower...

I think my lawn got bigger over the winter...

You can split some really big rocks with a mower blade!

Apparently, I cannot walk in a straight line...

I wonder if the neighbor and I could come to some sort of mutually-beneficial agreement involving his goats and my back field...?

If I continue to ignore my asparagus, how much taller than 40 inches will it grow, do you suppose?

Almost time for rhubarb pie!

Someday, I should really try dating a man who actually likes to eat...
Or at least to mow...

An Open Letter From My Boobs

Dear Jz,
It's not that we don't love you.
You treat us well, after all.

You've resisted hole-punching us.
You take us for regular checkups.
You buy pretty things for us to wear.
You've learned how to choose men who know how to show us a good time…

But we'd like to go on record with a request.

The next time you hear a sadistic, tit-torturing, iron-gripped Dominant utter the words, "I forgot my nicotine patch this morning and am VERY frustrated right now"…?

PLEASE… we beg of you…
  do NOT allow the words, "So, five minutes?" to fall from your lips.

Instead, we ask that you practice the following phrases:
     "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that!"
     "How very irksome!"
     "Golly, you'd better run straight home and slap one on ASAP!"

Should these prove too inconvenient, selective deafness might also be cultivated as an acceptable alternative.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
The Girls

P.S. CVS has arnica on sale.
       Just sayin'…
 

Memento Amore

As of recently, I have officially spent 3/4 of my life without my Mom ...
and I still miss her.

I miss our duets in the car.
I miss laying my head in her lap and feeling her stroke my hair.
I miss having to paw through her purse to get her a piece of clove gum. Or a tissue to clean her sunglasses.
I miss her banana cream pie,
her smile,
her laugh,
her love.

If you've got a mom to celebrate with this year, please give her an extra squeeze. For me, ...
and because you can.

What WAS I Thinking???

I've mentioned before that the thought of having BG and SP in the same room makes me very nervous. Especially if I'm there, too! But even just on general principle, the thought makes me squirm. The two of them are far too alike -- yet with complementary strengths. A girl would need a LOT of intestinal fortitude to withstand them should they decide to team up …

So perhaps you can explain to me why …
hmmm ... I need to back up ...

BG is a very patient and determined man. A shade kinder than "relentless", he does NOT let things drop. At best, I'll get a reprieve.
And one of those is now officially over.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to:
"The Third Annual Campaign to Persuade Jz to Pierce Her Nipples"

Now, this is something about which I am totally undecided. I do like the way they look in pictures… But mine is not the sort of body one actually sees in pictures. I just can't bring myself to believe this would truly be an enhancement of any kind. (And do guys really like the look or is it just getting us to hurt ourselves for them that's the turn on?)

So in a moment of sheer, unguarded madness, I decided to throw the question out to SP. (I know, I know ...)

The first response was fairly neutral - he'd never thought about it.
Then -- he thought.
I received a second, more considered response -- which closed with the caveat that should I pierce, I would of course be required to go out in public wearing clothing that displays the outcome.

I compounded my mistake by protesting that I'd just look silly.

"Under no circumstances would silly be the correct word. No, I am more and more taken by this idea."

And the floodgates opened …

I have received pictures of boobs my size, with hoops.
I have received links to pictures of boobs my size, with barbells.
I have received pictures of the assorted add-on jewelry you can use.
I have received input on how this could enhance my nipples.
I have received a carefully thought-out schedule for increasing the diameter of the holes.
I have received detailed scenarios of piercing utilization schemes ...

I have forgotten that the friend can turn on a dime to become the Dom. 

I have opened a can of worms!