Whose Present, Again...?

So, BG got a pretty Christmas box that contained a flogger.
When I told friends I'd gotten him a flogger, there was an almost universal chorus of "You mean, you got YOU a flogger."

The words did give me a bit of pause. Because, certainly, there's an element of selfishness in this type of purchase.
I decided, however, that it fell perfectly in line with our method of unspoken encouragements. We let each other know what we like and where we might want to go just as much by photos, links, and videos as we do with actual words.
Furthermore, the look of sheer pleasure on his face as he unwrapped the flogger made it quite clear that he had no thoughts of anything but the intent to enjoy ...

And enjoyment there was.

I'd heard that floggers produce a pain that is more tolerable, so play sessions can go longer. And because the pain was more sustainable, it was more erotic than a number of his other instruments of torture delight. Very much a win/win all 'round.
I was really looking forward to our long play session ...

But a funny thing happened on the way to ecstasy.

My hope had been to please him by taking more. What I hadn't reckoned on was how much deeper it would go than that.
Because my improved endurance meant he could ease his degree of vigilance. With the result that we had more than just increased play time, we actually expanded the boundaries of the field and gave him more room in which to safely run. (Kind of like I had provided a container that held a lot more beer.) He indulged himself to a greater degree than normal and we fed that energy back and forth and back and forth, until we were lost in each other.

It was, in a word, amazing.

And foolish though this will sound, this shift let me see for the first time just how much my Dom actually gets out of our power exchange. Prior to this, I could accept the truth that our relationship is a symbiotic one but I had trouble visualizing it. This time, there was a perceptible difference and the fog finally lifted.
(Apparently, it takes a flogging to clear my vision... )  ;-)

As for the flogger, I think that both my friends and I were right.
Because I have no doubt that this was truly a gift for BG.
But I received something pretty special myself.

Christmas Wish 2010

I say this a lot but it's worth repeating ...

    ... in yourself.
    ... in others.
    ... in love.
    ... in magic.

Much happiness, patience, wisdom, and love to all.

Merry Christmas, Everyone!

An Idle Thought

Do you think that being surrounded by wastebaskets overflowing with soggy tissues counts as having a White Christmas?

*atchoo!*

*sniff*

*snort*

*hack*

back soon...

selkie squeaks in under the wire!

The selkie placeholder in my cookie post has been filled!
Actually, she got the recipe to me several hours ago but I wasn't able to post until just now.
So, check it out... I think you'll agree these look worth the wait!

She's not the only one seen late at the party.
Aisha and  virtual sin also shared some goodies with us.

Thank you very much to everyone who participated!
It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed meeting some new people!

The Great Online Cookie Exchange Extravaganza - Premier Edition

(OK, there might be a couple of non-cookie recipes in the mix. Do you really care, as long as it tastes good?)

It was fun putting this together and watching it take off.
The only requirement was to post a recipe on Thursday, Dec. 16th. Twenty-one brave souls signed on for the fun. Please check out the list of participants is at the end of the post - but bear in mind that there were no time frames for *when* during the day we'd post. If you don't see a recipe, just try back later.
Go buy some milk in the meantime, you'll need it...  Enjoy!

Jz's Cookie Selection 2010:

These rate near the top of my all-time favorite Christmas cookies.
I've seen the recipe call for raisins instead of dates but that's pretty much heresy in my book. I'm big on dates, me. :-)

Cherry Winks

2 1/4 C    flour   
1 t         baking powder   
1/2 t      soda   
1/2 t      salt   
3/4 C    butter   
1 C       sugar   
2           eggs   
2 T       milk   
1 t        vanilla   
1 C       pecans - chopped
1 C       dates - chopped
1/3 C   maraschino cherries - drained and chopped
3 C      cornflakes - crushed
14  additional maraschino cherries, quartered

Preheat oven to 375.
Sift together dry ingredients. (Or just fluff with a fork like I do.)
In another large bowl, cream the butter with the sugar.
Add eggs, milk and vanilla to butter mixture.
Blend in the dry ingredients, mixing thoroughly. Add nuts, dates, and cherries.

Drop by rounded teaspoon into crushed cornflakes and toss lightly to coat.  Place on greased baking sheet and top with 1/4 cherry.
Bake 12-15 minutes. Makes about 5 dozen

Bonus: (quote found while googling for images)
 "After baking you get a cookie that looks like a crunchy boobie!"
That hadn't occurred to me before then but I'm afraid it's stuck now...

selkie's selection:

Nanaimo Bar Recipe

Bottom Layer

½ cup unsalted butter (European style cultured)

¼ cup sugar

5 tbsp. cocoa

1 egg beaten

1 ¼ cups graham wafer crumbs

½ c. finely chopped almonds

1 cup coconut

Melt first 3 ingredients in top of double boiler. Add egg and stir to cook and thicken. Remove from heat. Stir in crumbs, coconut, and nuts. Press firmly into an ungreased 8" x 8" pan.

Second Layer

½ cup unsalted butter

2 Tbsp. and 2 Tsp. cream

2 Tbsp. vanilla custard powder

2 cups icing sugar

Cream butter, cream, custard powder, and icing sugar together well. Beat until light. Spread over bottom layer.

Third Layer

4 squares semi-sweet chocolate (1 oz. each)

2 Tbsp. unsalted butter

Melt chocolate and butter overlow heat. Cool. Once cool, but still liquid, pour over second layer and chill in refrigerator.

One of those desserts that looks complicated, is super easy – looks like you took hours and can be put together in less than half an hour.. totally impresses people and seriously GOOD.

ALSO- instead of custard- I use vanilla instant pudding powder.

Please check out the other yummy contributions from: 

Alice

Ally
Cultivated Discipline

Elysia
Externally Motivated Wife
greengirl
Hedone

Kirsti
Kelly Red
Molly and Mick
mouse
nilla
Sara
sephani paige

sin
Striving for Peace

Tempting Sweets
turiya
Xantu

Damage Done?

Musing prompted by a couple of experiences people have had lately...

A D/s relationship is an amazing, wonderful, fulfilling experience. Like any extreme experience, however, it is fraught with possibilities for damage.

So, where, exactly, is the line between submission and protecting yourself?

Popular lore would have it that you don't protect yourself, you let your dominant do that for you. But dominants are not really omniscient, despite some often-disconcerting insights into our psyches. You are really the only one who can truly tell how you feel.

For example, I tend to pass out if my neck is strained in just the right way. Now, not only do I not want to crumble to a heap on the floor but you may safely bet that BG doesn't want me doing that to him, either. So I am responsible for speaking up when my nerves are approaching critical mass.

But it's not just protecting the physical self that I'm talking about. The psychological self needs protecting every bit as much, possibly even more, than our body, because damage done there often goes deeper, lasts longer, and is much harder to heal than any physical injury. In this light, "protecting yourself" can be seen more as "keeping yourself whole."

This, I think, is where D/s gets tricky. There seems to be a tendency out there to see submission as carte blanche for the dom, leaving him entitled to do whatever the heck he wants to do, despite this wishes of the sub.

Yet, what are the guidelines?
Safe, Sane, Consensual.
Even RACK  (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) has that "C" word in it.

We do have a say in what happens to us.

Granted, you should not say "No" lightly. When you enter a D/s relationship, you do so with your eyes open, each person accepting responsibility for their own behavior. The two of you may be playing together but this is not a game.

So I'm not saying you don't have to do anything you don't want to. That would be entirely incorrect. We all do many things that we would really just prefer not, thank you very much.
You should, however, only do the things you're actually willing to do.
Or, more accurately, the things where your willing submission outweighs your reluctance.

Should you instead face a situation that makes every nerve in your body scream out in protest, you are entitled to balk. If your Dom is not able to reassure you and set your fears to rest, then neither of you should force the issue. Because this is where damage is done.

Genuine, sustainable submission comes from deep within and is based on faith and trust. If you fake it, just to acquiesce, you are being untrue to yourself and to your dominant. These little untruths, like any lie, are corrosive. They eat away at your psyche and undermine the integrity of both you and your relationship.

Neither of those should be acceptable prices to you or your Dom.

The Startling Realization

The other morning, BG and I ended up in a position that made me feel like I was in a sumo ring. So, I tried to find a picture to show you guys.

(OK, this wasn't the position but it's too cool a shot not to share...)

As I browsed the images, however, a startling realization occurred.

For years, people have expressed surprise at my love of sumo and wondered how a good Yankee girl came by this fascination. I never had a satisfactory explanation, other than it just appeals to me.

But think about it...

Sumo is a highly ritualistic lifestyle. The wrestlers train in stables, following a strict regimen. Food to clothing, every aspect of their lives is dictated by rules. They have a disciple-master relationship with their coaches. They are expected to observe a high level of discipline in the ring. Their success depends in large part upon flexibility and control.

Does this sound vaguely familiar to anyone?

Not convinced?

Sumo wrestler as table...

Tell me this isn't breath play!

If you're really good, you get to wear rope...

(I {heart} Chad, too!)

It has spawned it's own latex fetish industry.

The most cherished memento for a devotee?
A big red handprint.

C'mon. You must see it!

 It's a metaphor for our lives...

(from library.thinkquest.org)