I guess that when you've gotten to the point where a lens falls out of your glasses on a weekly basis, it's really time to consider getting new ones…
But, ooooohhhhh, how I hate the whole process.
For one thing, glasses are stinkin' expensive. I could buy several months worth of groceries for the price of one pair - which just irritates me on general principles.
Then there's the overall nuisance factor of the eye exam. You scramble to get there, only to sit and wait (in uncomfortable chairs) for the dubious privilege of having your pupils dilated; eyeballs blasted; and retinas seared by light -- before you are taken to another uncomfortable chair, this time in a dimly-lit room, where you will don bad steampunk headgear and be forced to participate in an agonizingly tedious evaluation process. ("Number 1 or Number 2?… Better?… Worse?… 1?… 2?… Again...")
But the part that really fills me with dread is Choosing the Frames.
The mere thought makes my heart sink -- largely because symmetry was not one of my genetic gifts. Every. Flipping. Feature on my head is crooked.
Highly individualistic, to be sure… but irritating to work with none the less.
In fact, I can't even start the proceedings until I get the spectacle equivalent of a shoe lift over one ear, to even me out and stop the teeter-tottering on my nose.
Then there's the challenge of the rims. Since my eyebrows are neither level nor skewed at the same angle as my ears (which would be far too convenient) the rims must be carefully selected to obfuscate the fact that one sits above an eyebrow while the other is below…
So I'm disgruntled and discouraged even before we get to the cosmetic considerations like color, fashion, age-appropriateness, and the personality statement made by each possibility.
(And can anyone explain to me how you are supposed to see to choose a flattering frame when the corrective lenses that grant you vision are, perforce, not currently on your face?)
No, getting new glasses is simply an exhausting and disheartening experience… that always leaves me feeling vaguely like a squinting Quasimodo.
Maybe it can wait 'til next month...
4 comments:
While reading your amusing description I had visions of Quasimodo...lol
Not to worry, no one would ever mistake you for him...you are much taller ;p
Happy Monday!
-H
When I was a kid I was in an accident that left our car hanging partway off the St. Charles bridge one winter. It also left my ears uneven. No glasses ever fit right.
"Sanctuary!!! Sanctuary!!!"
I feel your pain. I always feel like I am being tested and wonder if I am making the wrong choice when I have to decide on one or two. One of these days I will be brave enough to get the surgery done, then I would no longer have the expense of buying new glasses. Well, except for reading glasses since my arms aren't getting any longer
H-
I'm not entirely certain how I feel about being told not to worry, that I'm larger than Quasimodo...
ummm,
yeah.
sure.
thx!
(???)
lm-
well, that made my stomach lurch...!
yikes.
B-
Yeah, I used to just wear contacts, until my very bad near-sightedness butted heads with my advancing years and shortening arms...
I can't see the dashboard of my car with 'em anymore, much less read.
And Weenie Girl goes into the spaz-dance at the very thought of eye-surgery...
(on the other hand, life is much more pleasant when you don't see it very well...) ;-p
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