I won't be spending as much money:
No beer will be needed.
Nor condoms,
Toys,
Lube,
Or slinky lingerie.
My body is mine to decide for again:
Shaving will happen only when I feel like it
(and only on the bits I want shaved.)
No more piercing pressure.
Plug practice can go the way of the dodo.
I will be better rested:
No more late-night email barrages.
No more post-bedtime trysts.
No more lost sleep over random disappearances.
My health will be better:
No more TMJ-exacerbating blow jobs.
There is more room in my house:
From all the toys and BDSM novels I have thrown out.
And the highway is a safer place for everyone:
Because no one is texting me on my drive home.
10 comments:
Well crap. That sucks.
Are you assuming you'll never want those books or toys again?
-sin
I am sorry love
endings suck
but sometimes make room for something else
TT
B
Hey Jz...Don't know backstory so don't know whether to say sorry or congratulations. Even when endings are for the best,there is still a feeling of loss so will just send lots of prayers and positive energy your way.
Blessings...
Cat
Dear Jz,
I'm so sorry.
However - this post rivals Dorothy Parker - and i'm a huge fan of hers. Glad you can hold on to your sense of humor, and the silver linings...
yY
sofia
Big warm shoulder bump.
May I make a suggestion? I know it's painful right now, but,dig the books and toys out of the trash and box them up and store them in the attic or basement, maybe the garage. They are going to be expensive to replace. You might want them again someday. I know this from experience. I tossed some really great books the last time I was done, and I regret it.
I agree with sofia, btw. Your post is quite Parkerish.
*Shoulder bump*
That list of silver linings is awesome.
s-
oh, I'll want them… they just won't be relevant anymore.
(I'm selling all the romances, too.)
Why keep stuff around that makes me sad?
B-
thank you.
C-
I'm not sure I could say even if you'd asked.
So I'll stick with "thank you"
s-
Oh, the humor rarely goes too far. In fact, I've actually been told that the more depressed I am, the more amusing I get. (The hyperbole goes into overdrive.)
But thank you.
For the comiseration and the compliment.
lm-
SP tried that tack--
I'll tell you what I told him:
No
But I appreciate the unwarranted optimism on my behalf. ;-p
(and the shoulder bump)
l-
thank you.
and thank you. :-)
Sending my love and hugs...eh endings suck. There's not much that i can offer other than my shoulder...and we both know that your Yank pride won't take that comfort. But i love you and my ear is here if and when you want it.
Big fucking hug...
Nilla
n-
Well, that makes me feel a bit ungracious...
But, sadly, you're also right.
I AM appreciative of the offer, however!
(half-credit?)
You are not at all ungracious. You are who you are...and there is not ONE THING wrong with that. You're strong and stalwart and I am a bit envious of that, truth be told. We're all unique creatures--in looks, in temperament and in how we handle those big life issues...no worries from here that you are "ungracious"...do wipe that off the board. You are my friend because of who you are.
nilla
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