I've said it so often, most of you can probably finish my sentence for me, but I've never really cared if I got married. I'm not set against it but it's never been a goal in and of itself, either.
The flip side of that, however, is that I have always thought it would be really lovely to belong to someone -- someone who wants you and who wants to belong to you right back.
However the relationship is shaped doesn't matter -- but the belonging part sounds grand.
Life, however, rarely gives you all the lovely things you hope to find in it.
You can rack up quite a few, mind you. Laughter, friendships, books… just not usually all.
And I think belonging is one I'm not going to get.
And I think belonging is one I'm not going to get.
Which, y'know, is what it is -- but some days that bothers me more than others.
(And the two weeks before February 14th hold rather a lot of those "some days" for the newly-unattached person …)
"It was cut-your-wrists lonely not to have another human being who knew the worst about you but loved you anyway." - Lois Battle, "The Florabama Ladies Auxiliary & Sewing Circle"
3 comments:
When I was married -- I was miserable
for many years
and
I stayed -- partly -- because I believed that he was my one chance to have someone in my life
and I stayed and stayed and stayed - because the thought of being alone was terrible.
finally -- I came to the place where I would rather be alone forever --than spend another day with that man
and I left
it ends up that I was wrong
that I don't have to be alone
that someone else would want me
don't give up hope dear one
even though it feels hopeless
perhaps you just needed to make room
so that the one you belong to would have space
B
And Valentines Day is ... a Hallmark fabrication.
-sin
B-
thanks.
Maybe I'll feel that way someday...
s-
An intensely marketed fabrication that cannot be ignored if you leave your house, unfortunately.
(I have loathed the day consistently since college, even in the best of times…)
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