I've had a rough time in here in SlutWorld this past week.
He raised two back-to-back questions that really caused me a great deal of inner turmoil.
In fact, I was pretty nearly bludgeoned to death by my own insecurities.
To the point that I've actually started wondering if I shouldn't just give up… throw in the towel and let him find someone who won't disappoint.
That's one of the downsides to being a submissive, I think.
Even if your head understands that it's okay to have difficulty rising to a challenge, you feel like a complete failure when it happens.
Which means I catastrophize it.
Which tries his patience.
Which adds to the feeling of failure…
Can I just say, "Ugh"...?
(and maybe get an "amen"?)
7 comments:
Even if your head understands that it's okay to have difficulty rising to a challenge, you feel like a complete failure when it happens.
I think that there's a term for this.
I went through something similar this week. I am not sure if my mind always went to 'complete fail' before submission or not, but it's my initial reaction to everything now.
Good luck as you work through things. You are stronger than you think.
Did HE say you were a disappointment? or was that in your head?
and yes, you get an "Amen Sister!" from me. My feelings frequently lie to me.
Oh, yes. It's an amen.
-r x
T-
Well, thank GAWD I wasn't wearing a red shirt during any of this!
Thank you for coming up with a nice, geeky reference for me. ;-p
(yet another reason I love you, Tom.)
CM-
I've always gone to "complete fail" in a lot of other areas, but in relationships, no. This is new for me. Even disappointing SP back in the day didn't go so deep. (Or, maybe I should say "feeling like I disappointed SP" - we had a talk about this and I am reliably informed that a number of my assumptions were not accurate.)
Thanks, cutes.
lm-
Oh, all in my head, of course.
(did you really even need ask?)
The only thing he has said is "you think far too much" - and that was directed at the fretting, not the "disappointments" themselves.
I like that, "feelings lying to us" phrase. :-)
r-
Come join the choir, sister! ;-)
Amennnn.
Catastrophize is my new word. It's so accurate, I can't believe I haven't been using it daily for years!
*Bump*
l-
We're turning into a regular little party, here.
Time to make coffee, I think!
And yes, it's a fine word - and pretty much the story of how I react, as well. :-)
(glad to have company there, too. ;-D)
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