Neat-nik, Take Two

Today, I turn to nilla's Real Neat questions.

Warning: I got pretty long-winded on these responses.

You might wanna run and grab some No-Doz before you start reading!

OK, award picture…

          and here we go!

1. How did you get into reading, then writing, erotica?

There was no one thing that started it, really. It was more of a natural evolution. 

My mom taught me to read at a very young age (and I do mean VERY - but she wasn't pushing me, it was something I clamored for) and from then on, I just did the sponge thing with anything written. I can't even remember the first erotica I read, altho' I'm quite sure it was something my parents thought they had hidden far better than they had…

I've also always loved writing. I fed the trash bins of many a school chum for many, many years with letters, silly poems, and "newsletters" (complete with laughably bad illustrations.)

Then I entered into a long-distance relationship with SP and, as you might guess, my literary offerings began to include erotic stories. He, bless him, was/is a very appreciative audience. (Who, in fact, still badgers me to take a stab at getting published.) 

I don't write much erotica, however. I think I do better when I write to my strengths and something about erotica brings out a self-consciousness in my writing that *I* find off-putting, so I can only imagine how someone outside of my head must feel. 

SP would say I should just keep practicing… but I honestly don't care enough to bother. 

(Wow, I went on for far too long on that one, didn't I?

sorry… moving on now…)

2. What do you get out of blogging?

Blogging has multiple levels of benefit for me.

Primarily, it gives me a place to write. I sit down and just ramble my way through whatever thoughts might be in my head at the time the muse strikes… This approach messes with a consistent subject matter but I'm not too keen on climbing into little boxes, anyhow. :-) 

Blogging also gives me a way to connect with the world. I live and work in little one-horse towns (lovely tho' they may be,) and I interact with a lot of truly good, salt of the earth people… with whom I have almost nothing in common. BookMan once observed, "You must have an awful time finding people you can actually talk to…" and it's true. Not that I can't carry on an everyday chat with the good people around me. But we don't sit down and really dig in, the way I like to. So, I come here to do that and, hopefully, start some interesting conversations as a result.

And lastly, by blogging here as I do, I like to pretend that I am doing my bit toward making at least one person out there feel more comfortable with the idea of being submissive. 

When I started investigating the world of TTWD, I couldn't find anyone who approached submission in a way that felt comfortable to me -- and if I weren't so mule-headed, that could very easily have made me feel inadequate and invalid. It's an oddly competitive world out there, in subbie-land. I'm not even sure if folks realize how dismissive they can be toward those of us who prefer to individualize our style of submission. 

So, I hoped that if I threw my hat into the blogging ring, perhaps someone else whose leanings ran outside the tropes might read my words and take heart from knowing they are not alone.

(Good lord, there's just no shutting me up today, is there?)

3. What are your favorite things to do/to be done to you by your partner?

I love doing anything that makes him moan appreciatively. Usually, that means a blow job but anything that has that effect, I'm totally on board with.

And altho' I love all the kinky stuff he does to me, I think my favorite thing is when he kisses me. He's a fantastic kisser, the first one I've been with in many a long year, so I have a lot of mediocre kisses to make up for! 

4. If you had the choice to live 24/7 D/s dynamic …would you? Do you feel it’s a realistic way to live in this day and age?

I think it can be done -- but not in the fairytale way a lot of people dream about. Real life trumps fantasies, no matter how much you want to pretend it won't.

As for me living that way, that's pretty much a "hell to the no".

Fortunately, BG clearly and specifically does not want that -- which is good, because it would undoubtedly strain my patience past the snapping point, anyhow. Not only because it is a very hard thing to manage but even more because 24/7 is simply not the right fit for me. 

5. What scares you about D/s?

This is a tricky one. There is nothing about D/s in my current relationship that scares me. I may be jittery or apprehensive about some of the actions we will/may undertake, but I have absolutely no real fears about anything I might do with this man. (At least not within the BDSM context… the possibility of "lurv" is an entirely different kettle of fish.) If I were of a different psychological makeup, I could see myself being very scared of getting sucked down the rabbit hole. But as things stand right now, that's not a worry.

On the other hand, if I were not with this particular dom…? I would like to think I could find someone else that I fit with and trust in the same way, but that's never a given, is it? And if I weren't, well, I'm not sure. I was going to say there are a lot of things I read about that I do find genuinely scary… but on the other hand, what are the odds I'd ever actually face doing them? Since I will probably never participate in a full-blown TPE anyhow, I'm far more likely just to say, "No, thank you!" and toddle on home, where a good book always awaits me…

6. Multiple partners and experiences in a scene–is this a fantasy or something too scary to contemplate–and why?

Ugh. Nasty question, this. (Well, the "multiple partners" bit, anyhow. Not quite sure what you mean by "experiences in a scene "- so I'll just address myself to the partners part.)

In fantasy-land, me with two men scores pretty high on the heat scale. 

Me and another woman and a guy? Not so much. Like, at all. Actually, negative. 

Nor is the thought of me with more than 2 others appealing, either. 

(More Ways In Which I Am Boring, by Jz)

In real life?

I truly don't think I could manage it, not even the hot MMF. (Unless the two guys were BG and SP - but that's about as likely as a blizzard in Hades, so it doesn't count as real life.) 
A large part of the reason why not is that I can't just fuck someone. I have hangups about casual sex, what can I say? (see "Boring", above.)
Plus, quite honestly, I don't think BG is interested in MMF.

What he IS interested in is MFF - which is another face of Mount Everest for me. I've got a shitty sense of self-confidence. (In the "I am attractive as a sexual being" department, at least. In other aspects, my arrogance comes close to knowing no bounds -- but those areas don't come into play in play…) So I would spend the entire scene assuming it was actually a test drive for her as my potential replacement, and I would curl further and further into myself until I ended up in a fetal position in the corner. 

No, I am not meant for the multiple life.

7. If you could fuck anyone, who would it be? (bonus—would you be the Top or the bottom of the scene?)

Silly woman! You know the answer to this is Sean Connery!

Who I don't think would let me top even if I wanted to, which I don't. 

Ever.

The relationship before BG ended because I was tired of fighting over who got to bottom. (Not that we ever phrased it that way but in retrospect, that was most of my dissatisfaction with him. I do not find topping at all hot, yet I always won that unrecognized battle, because he totally sucked at taking charge.)

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Again, my nominees are: anyone reading this post who might decide they want to take a stab at answering these questions. Just remember to let me know, so I can come read them!

1. Do you read blogs:

to learn?

for the stories?

to get to know other people?

2. If you could be given one super-hero power (like X-ray vision, or the ability to become invisible) what would you choose and why?

3. You’ve won an all-expenses paid trip to a kink event.

Do you go?

If yes, where do you hang out?