W was another letter that suggested a number of topics - all of which are valid wishes but none of which felt quite right for my perfect world. I considered waterfalls, winters, washboard abs, wood working classes, allowing myself to be more wanton, (did I mention washboard abs?) … but I think, really, when I get right down to it, my W is actually something missing.
Because in MPW, there won't be any Weenie Girl.
It’s not so much that I’m a scaredy-cat. I mean, yes ok, I certainly can be. But I’m also not bad at pushing myself through fear - for something I really want. But I seem to have this internal scale that weighs effort needed against likely results - and it’s pre-set to “conservative”.
I’d like to nudge that somewhat closer to “risk-taker”.
I’ve got insouciance enough not to worry about the opinions of others, the tenacity of a bulldog when called for, and I’m fairly well grounded - so it’s not like I’m completely lacking in the necessary skills for a walk close to the edge. Nonetheless, I always end up feeling stolid.
As opposed to my dad, who was a huge proponent of the “run it up the flagpole and see who salutes” approach to life, He did a whole lot of things for no better reason than to see what happened... or just to shake things up. I like that philosophy - but I also don’t like creating messes that I then need to spend time cleaning up. (I hate cleaning!) So I'm careful to think things through… and frequently decide not to leap once I’ve looked.
I’m not asking to be a daredevil. Nor is this a whine about My Life And Where I Went Wrong. I’ve done my best to work within the parameters of my personality and I have remarkably few regrets about past decisions I’ve made. But I do wonder sometimes what it would have been like if I were a bit more unrestrained.
So in my perfect world, I will be.
(Bye-bye, Weenie Girl!)
13 comments:
You're probably a 'weenie' girl (as in wiener, or other 'sausage'/phallic similes): just not a wuss. Or, at least, not wanting to be one...! :)
Viscous, wanking, verboten and whang....
Sorry, I have the maturity of 9 year old when it comes to dictionaries.... Unmeasurable on a rheometer.
I know what you mean. I find it's getting easier to try new things, but I'm finding that there are fewer new things I actually want to try.
Maybe zip lining. It’s something i’ve always thought looked like fun but never dared try. We can go together.
We really are soul sistahs!
Wilder is a great word! Now that I'm 61, I'm finding it easier to try new things. I think it's because I realize more that my time is limited--even though I don't know what that limit is--and I hope it's not soon. But still, I have more of a sense of urgency (Hmmm--maybe use that for next year's A to Z)
It's hard for me to pick a side on this one. I tend toward the conservative too, I think. But then again, I live on the far side of the world! That could be thought to be "wild". But it really is just like returning home, for me. Fortunately for me, I married a man who does things just to see what will happen. He's the wild one and I just go along... usually. I might need to unpack this concept in a whole blog post of my own.
D-
It’s more the “not wanting to be one” aspect that I was going for here. *ahem*
(And thank you for that acknowledgement, so I didn’t have to point it out to you! ;-p)
L-
Funny how that works, isn’t it?
mm-
Hmmm. Well, you picked something I actually am kind of scared of - plus, my vertigo is registering strenuous objections in the background. HOWEVER… this will be my perfect world…
Let’s go, chica!!
D-
I am beginning to realize this. ;-D
S-
Right on your heel, ma’am. I’m not sure I can say “urgency” is precisely apt for me, but yes, the sense of, “well, why not?” is growing.
I will watch for next year’s U! :-)
R-
It’s a funny balance on both sides of the equation. Am I conservative, or just scared? My friend Thelma is much like your husband… is she adventurous or fool-hardy? (I suspect all four of us have found that balance, mind you, but it’s still a valid question.)
If you write the post, I will read. (With interest!) :-)
Well Weenie girlie ... I bet you've had some fun along the way - and life's about ups and downs, wild and careful ... so it goes ... enjoy! Cheers Hilary
H-
It is indeed the ups and downs, wild pendulum swings, and all the places in between
Thank you!
Due to teenage societal pressures, I always kept to myself and tried to stay under the radar when I was younger. However, something changed at some point. I became the wild one.
"Let's do something crazy in a crowded place just to see how people react."
I don't know what happened.
B-
I'm going to go out on a (highly presumptuous) limb and guess that you realized you could learn a lot about people by seeing how they reacted to you when you played up. I have a couple of friends who do that (and they've agreed - I'm not simply spreading the presumption far and wide...)
But they act wild, see who is appalled, who is amused, and who is trying to out-do them, and use that as an indicator of like-mindedness.
Altho', of course, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar... :-)
That is absolutely true. I even wrote about it once.
O is for Obnoxious
B-
Well, that's mildly embarrassing but ok - I'll be checking that out!
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