It is not easy to be "slut sous la table" when you can't kneel or sit on the floor -- when sprained body parts reduce you to perching on the world's smallest stool and doing the Quasimodo hunch in order to even *sort of* fit beneath said table.
And even then, with a foot unable to bend or take too much pressure, there is no way to maintain a stationary position … you simply have to keep shifting around.
The sad fact is, I was the world's squirmiest slut that night -- not at all ideal.
He knew I was doing my best, tho', so squirms, fidgets, and long pauses were allowed, an accommodation which let us successfully overcome the challenges the position presented.
I figured out how to bobble without using my foot for leverage (mini-pushups off the chair rungs, should you be wondering;) he resolved the difficulty of finding sufficient space in which to whack my push-upping-arm-shielded boobs (I can't even begin to describe the particular contortion required so I won't try -- but it worked;) and I managed to NOT knee him in the groin whenever I shifted foot plants. (<< I am particularly proud of myself for that one, can I just mention? … and touched by his faith in me as well, as I think about it…)
We weren't going to win any prizes for elegant appearance, that's for sure.
But we certainly came out the winners in the Teamwork for Success category!
6 comments:
Just imagine, for one moment, the 'retirement' home, Jz! What sort of acrobatics can you perform levering from a walker? ;)
That said, did your limitations preclude the face fucking?
D-
Hey, c'mon with the retirement home stuff!
You're hittin' close to home there, my friend. ;-p
So far in my life, however, I've only used a walker as a result of acrobatics, so it remains to be discovered what kind of tricks I'll be able to perform.
I'm okay with waiting, tho'…
(and no, very little deters BG. He just figures out alternate ways of setting up scenes. And lord knows, he's gotten to practice that skill a lot with me, between sprained ankles, hinky neck, fractured skull, and vertigo…) :-D
Mmkay, halfhearted apologies for 'older' references ;) Your post and my aging frame, though, reminded me that sex 'engineering plans' probably ought to be thought of, if not occasionally tried out - for the far distant future, of course...
I've dealt with most of your injury list except vertigo - oh, and maybe the fractured skull thing. Vertigo sounds like an interesting challenge. Were blindfolds involved? Immobilization and ibuprofen sound like a good starting point for the others.
D-
I'm holding you to that "far distant future" thing! ;-p
No blindfolds for the vertigo. When your eyeballs are spasming uncontrollably, you want to focus on a fixed point as soon as possible. Or at least, I do. Others may cope differently. But since it's triggered in the inner ear, it tends to be the act of motion, not the visual of motion that sets it off.
For the rest, immobilization works in some cases but not so well in others. Depends what you're doing that's triggering it. Sometimes you need movement to get the blood flowing again.
Basically, we just punt a lot. :-D
Punting is good in many cases. Give the O a needed break ;) Plus that cumulative field position can put you in a better position, pun intended, if you're playing the long game for 4 quarters. Most importantly, you can break out the backside - pun intended, again - of the playbook if you're patient.
Talk about wearing out an analogy.....!
Patch her up and get 'er back in the game...
D-
Wow.
And I can't even parry the feints because I'm a football idiot. (Apologies to your high-school star self!)
So I'm not even going to try to play that one -- I'll just accept defeat gracefully. ;-D
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