A few posts back, Bleuame urged me to put that sticky note on BG's forehead, because she likes "to brat vicariously." A perfectly reasonable statement but it got me thinking…
When is it being a brat and when is it just being yourself?
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| Not me. |
I've certainly got a smart mouth -- but I do not consider myself to be "a brat."
Teasing, flippant, sassy, heckler, yes.
Brat, no… not really.
Because my teasing isn't intended to express petulance or be irritating; I don't do it to goad or manipulate -- this is simply the way that I play. (Granted, how you react to the teasing will go a long way toward forming my opinion of you, so in that respect, it's fair to say that my actions may indeed be self-serving. But that's purely a side effect … because, trust me, the teasing continues even after my opinion is formed. ;-p)
I tease as an invitation to join me in play -- and playful is at the very heart of who I am. It's something I like about myself, my friends like about me, and that BG likes about me. So I'm really not looking to shed the habit.
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| Also not me. |
But like anyone who teases, I sometimes miss my mark and overshoot "playful" to land smack in the middle of "lippy" instead... And "lippy" isn't really a trait that springs immediately to mind when you think of that lyrical, serene, Platonic ideal of a submissive, is it?
In fact, I'm preeetttty sure that it lands you in most people's Brat pile… whether you meant to go there or not.
Fortunately, BG understands me well enough that the worst I've ever gotten is a silent look. (And I understand him well enough to heed the warning!) But it's slippery ground…
Maybe that's why "lyrical and serene" is the ideal -- it's a lot harder to screw up!
6 comments:
I am the same kind of non-brat brat.
Jz. Always the one to skate on Ockham's razor! For the rest of humanity it's a thin wedge; for the chosen few - the playful subs - it's like a friggin' playground.
Damn waffles again! ;)
Every once in awhile, I can test the strength of the ropes that bind, every once in awhile, I pull to see how far I can go...every once in awhile, he gives me enough slack and lets me hang--but for the most part, I am honest about doing all of that.
Within our M/s, there is a ton of silly, laugh out loud, playfulness. Like you say, I do think the difference is intent and because when I do take the silliness that extra mile into what can be seen as brat territory, I am not trying to manipulate or goad him. I'm just playing. He is one of the few that I feel comfortable enough to be like that around.
However, on the surface? Being a brat looks like fun. I know I would suck at it. I don't even know *how* to do it.
Hence the likes "to brat vicariously" ;-)
@kaya ooh! Yes, that's such a good turn of phrase.
k-
wheeee!!
Excellent -- I love having company!! :-)
D-
Well, we need to romp about in the multiplicity to have scope for our imaginations!
("William of Ockham, meet Anne of Green Gables…")
B-
How well they understand us is a huge factor in it all, that's for sure.
I'm not quite so noble as to say I couldn't actually be a brat - I'll bet I could (*ahem*) - but I certainly wouldn't be proud of myself for it.
Could you? I guess maybe its a 'to what degree?' thing for me. And just like I can't understand SO when they sneak Gourmet Chef stuff into the house, its the manipulation/deception factor I can't wrap my head around.
Maybe this is like punishment vs. funishment? Where does the playfulness end and the bratting begin? Obviously. that's up to the people involved.
B-
No, you're right. I can't see me doing the sneaky and underhanded thing. I was thinking more along the lines of teasing run amok...
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