(Twelfth Night, Act 2, Scene 4)
My relationship with BG is in many ways good and solid and fulfilling -- but it also leaves much to be desired. There are a lot of things that I want that are not going to be possible for a while yet. Life has thrown him some real doozies of curve balls and those are the things that have to be dealt with first. I may hate that but his priorities are sound, even though they mean I need to wait my turn.
And you know, there are days I'd love to sit down and whine about that. Long and loudly.
A big ol' country song full of soulful, twangy lament.
Except that would just be wrong.
He's been honest and up front about each challenge as it occurred. He is good and honorable and does not shirk a responsibility when it gets hard and I respect the hell out of him for that. The challenges are his, yet he's not whining, he's doing the best he can, so who am I to stamp my little foot?
Besides, I am not without responsibility or free will. If this is really not what I want from life, I've got two feet and I know how to use them.
If I'm still here, then I need to accept that it's my decision to be here and just STFU.
Which is very hard sometimes.
I am not by nature noble, so it's far more tempting to just pitch a fit.
(Or sing a song.)
Silence is not easy.
And there are times I wonder if it's worth it, after all.
Until he hugs me and says, "Thank you" -- then words die in my throat. And Patience climbs back onto her monument, once more smiling -- but not at grief.
Because she remembers why she sat here in the first place.
7 comments:
it is tough sometimes
and it's good your have an outlet for the frustration
hang tight sis
sfp
Absolutely beautiful!
Life is all about getting the pluses and minuses in some sort of balance. Some things weigh so heavy on the plus side that we are happy to take a lot of downside too. Basically because it's worth it. He sounds as if he is. Alice xx
Lovely... What you're doing takes lots of self-discipline I'm glad it's worth it!
aisha
sfp-
Maybe it's the sour that helps us appreciate the sweet?
Thanks, cutes.
:-)
gg-
Thank you.
A-
That's pretty much it, in a nutshell.
Guys with that kind of integrity may be out there, but they sure aren't thick underfoot, either.
Not a thing to walk away from lightly.
a-
Wow.
I'm not sure I've ever been called self-disciplined before... Thank you!
Yes, so far -- Very worth it.
I am sorry its tough for you but glad his "thank yous" can make it easier.
Jessica-
Well, as I say, the tough part is my choice - but yes, the fact that he appreciates the effort and says "thank you" makes a big difference.
And welcome, btw!
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