The Voice
We all have voices inside our head. Generally, they're pretty much just the different extremes of our personality, wanting to be heard. There's the petulant brat, the peacemaker, the snark, the insecure weenie, the arrogant snob, etc. ...
I've got another voice, however. One that almost never speaks but says things that startle me when it does. Unexpected things that turn out to be, well, right. It's just another form of intuition but it still takes me by surprise.
Like when I met a girl whose name I almost didn't catch because I was so distracted by the fact that something in my head had just said, "Oh, THERE you are!"
She turned out to be one of those dear friends that you seem to have known forever. Weird, but OK...
Or when I was blindsided by SP telling me that he had to leave me. Now, most people in this situation lurch straight into anger or denial.
Me? I hear The Voice: "He's right. This part's done."
Then there was the time I was chatting with a dear young friend, who spoke of the kids he'd have someday. The Voice quickly rebutted, "Well, that's not gonna happen..." What the...?
I chalked up the negativity to an subconscious protest against a teen rushing to grow up too quickly. But one year later, that boy got sick. Two years later, he was dead.
I don't always enjoy hearing The Voice but I've learned to listen to it.
Fast forward to this January. Thoroughly fed up with the emotional rollercoaster of BG's relentless schedule and chronic inability to even keep in touch, much less make time for us, I composed a "this is not working" email. I finessed my words, purging rancor and hurtfulness, just calmly stating my reasons. It was a fine letter, if I do say so myself.
I went to hit Send.
"Don't."
Shit!
Shit, shit, shit! No! Don't do this to me!
Again, I moved the cursor to Send.
"Don't. It's not over."
I stare at the screen, snorting in frustration.
Fine. You've got until the weekend.
(Is it bad when you talk back to The Voice, do you think?)
BG emailed the next day.
"I don't even have time to explain right now but I will. Please stay patient?"
*sigh*
(to be continued...)
7 comments:
You are wise to listen to that voice, to be able to hear it in the first place.
Echoing greengirl on this one. Most just ignore the voice, pretend it doesn't exist.
You are very wise to listen to that voice..
Hugs,
mouse
I know what you mean....its a voice I have learnt not to ignore, even if I doubt it occasionally!
Can I borrow that voice?
gg & mouse-
Thanks, guys!
My head is one area I have a lot of faith in.
I figure if it happened to me, it's real. As opposed to the people who say, it's not real so it couldn't have happened.
More things in heaven and earth, Horatio.
P-
It often flies in the face of what we think should be, doesn't it?
sfp-
Ummm... no.
Sorry. Gotta find your own voice, sweetie.
It's there. Just be still and listen.
That voice typically will be right on the money. We all have that to a degree, or so I think. Maybe it's just me. LOL!
But for me there are times when the voice is telling you something isn't right. You can't put your finger on what it is, but the voice is screaming and it won't go away. Maybe it's about a person or a situation. Whatever the case, the voice is usually right and leading you in a direction that you need to be going.
It's good that you recognize the voice is there and that you should at least give it some attention. Try to figure out if it's worth listening to, or just an annoyance. But again, the voice is usualy on track.
DV
I definitely agree that we all have the voices, it's just a matter of varying degree for how much we attend to them.
This one's got a little more oomph than most, tho', so I do always listen. :-)
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