In Praise of Men

Let's see if I can get myself into as much trouble as Sir J! :-)

In a comment to my post "Considering Femininity", Magnus Cattus urged me to turn it around and consider how I viewed masculinity and asked what type of guy appealed to me. I find that a very difficult question to answer.
Because, well, I really like men.

Men are fun to look at, interesting to talk to, and amusing to watch around machines and technology. They stretch your mind and show you viewpoints you've never considered. They track in dirt and cuss more creatively than God. They make you want to hug them, lick them, cook for them, and drop-kick them into next week. I like men as friends, I like men as objects of flirtation, I like men as studmuffins.
I just plain like men.

Nor will I go all noble on you and insist that I don't pay attention to the outer trappings. Nope. I likes me my eye candy.
However, just as with candy bars, there's something different to appreciate about each one. Some men have nice eyes, some, nice smiles. There are cheekbones, necks, arms, shoulders, chest, abs, legs,... (I'm purposely leaving out butts so I can stay on track here.) Basically, you name it, I've ogled it on some guy.

But the truth is that most of the time, what is pleasing to my eye has nothing whatsoever to do with creating attraction. I can think of at least a half-dozen guys that I could sit and admire all day without ever feeling any stirrings of desire. What I'm drawn to is some intangible aspect of personality.

To my mind, "attractively masculine" is not a physical manifestation but a mindset or attitude.
I've dated: tall, short, husky, slender, blonde, brunette, athletic, couch potato, impatient, tolerant, passionate, gentle, bisexual, straight, pacifist, veteran, businessman, academic, milquetoast, and sadist. Some of them have: worn too much jewelry, used bad aftershave, had lousy fashion sense, been under their parent's thumb, or possessed body parts that no one would ever immortalize in sculpture. (Remember, I've never married, so I've had time to cram these all in!)
But they were all attractive to me because they all had the right attitude.
People who don't get it just assume I've been testing all possible waters. The ones with an eye can see what I see. Which is that these guys all shared some great qualities.
They were sharp as tacks, honest, funny, open-minded, warm, compassionate, and giving, every last one of 'em.

But there's more to it than just that, surely.
So let's go back to TomKat's original question:
What do I see as undeniable qualities of masculinity?

A genuine, masculine man is:
 self-aware and comfortable with who he is.
 unapologetic about himself but considerate in his actions.
 purposeful but open to discussions.
 unafraid to rethink a decision when required.
 capable of distinguishing confident from brash.
 realistic, decisive, and forthright.
 someone who sees his woman as a person and values what he sees.

A man who looks at me with a gleam in his eye and a softening of his expression.

These masculine attributes are more important than how any man looks or dresses. (Altho' a small gold hoop in his ear never hurt the situation...)