As you know, my life for the last few months has been one big struggle for closure.
See, I don't move on well.
(I'll just wait here a minute for the gasps of surprise to die down…)
Mind you, I don't open up well, either, but once I do, you're in.
It's a lot of work to carve names on that membership wall, so I've gotta really want you off the list to go to the trouble of removing it.
To get to that point, I need to have let go of the emotional connection with you…
I need to have found closure.
Closure allows you to seal off the energies of an experience so that you can keep it with you -- but in a neat package. Contained, those energies won't continue to bleed, seethe, and seep out into the rest of your life. You can examine and enjoy them for what they were, without them interfering with what you are now.
It's the healthy way to keep your experiences with you...
But it takes a while.
I don't think closure is a single event, I think it occurs in stages.
There's:
finding it
accepting it
moving on
There's also, "getting that order right"
Because if you try to move on before you've achieved the rest, things aren't going to go so well for you.
Or, at least, they don't go so well for me.
Perhaps your mileage will vary...
8 comments:
Do you feel you are getting there? Starting to get there? Figuring out what helps? I hope so.
I like the little graphic btw.
F
*Bump*
And i don't think any of it can be forced...
and like every other process we go through, no two experiences are identical. And you may loop around it a bit (look up the Praxis model--it pertains primarily to religious education but also to other types of learning) and return and loop around again. But the idea is, eventually, we rise to a higher plane of understanding. Sounds like you're on your path. :D
nilla
always one day at a time. I like the stages that you listed
F-
Thank you
Yes, I have felt quite a bit calmer about it all in the last month or so.
l-
thanks, cutes.
gg-
certainly not by me, it can't, no…
'n-
looping certainly suits my style! ;-)
B-
taking things as they come is a bit of a talent, don't you think?
at least, doing that gracefully seems to be for me...
thank you. :-)
A wise man I know once told me that when a relationship ends, all of the threads that have bee woven together have to be separated again, unwoven, untangled... it takes a while.
yY,
sofia
s-
It's a complicated process, that's for sure.
With no instruction manual, either! You just have to do what you feel...
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