There are things you take as givens in life, aren’t there?
Things you assume to be timeless and universal. You know…
Thou Shalt Not Kill
Love Conquers All
Happiness is a Warm Puppy
Lobster Rolls Contain Mayonnaise
So you can imagine my surprise when my otherwise-very-sensible Friend of Very Many Years, Fred, looked at the lobster roll I had just received, pointed his finger at me and declaimed, “HERESY!!”
“WTF, Fred?!?”
“That lobster roll is cold and has mayonaise in it!!!””
“Well, d’uh! That’s how they’re made.’
“No! A real lobster roll is nothing but lobster chunks with butter, served hot.”
“That’s not a lobster roll, that’s a lobster dinner, served on bread.”
“No, that is How a Lobster Roll Should Be Made.”
Now, if you google “lobster roll recipe” you’ll get all kinds of links to “Classic Lobster Roll”, “Classic New England Lobster Roll”, “New England Lobster Roll”, “Lobster Roll Sandwich”… ALL of which contain recipes for a basic mayonnaise-based lobster salad, which you serve in a butter-grilled hot dog roll. Pure Down-Easter Nirvana.
Unless, of course, you happen to add the word “Connecticut” to your search term. Turns out if you do that, you will instead receive a number of different links to sites that will tell you how to serve a lobster dinner on bread.
Who Knew??
Dear Fred,
When you return to Connecticut, you may resume your deluded thinking.
While you’re on this side of your state borders, get in line with the rest of the world, ok?
12 comments:
Wow, I've never heard of, nor had, either!
Amy
Heard of lobster roll (strangely, I want to say via childhood author favourite but that might not be right..?) but strange to me to contemplate cold in sauce, on bread.
What the hell, Jz? I mean, seriously!
Mayonnaise instead of the tangy taste of Miracle Whip? What the hell is wrong with people?
Your stories are so funny Jz, they need to be published as a collection. I'm not being funny.
https://artismoments.blogspot.qa/2018/04/l-is-for-laitlum-canyon-atozchallenge.html
Just like if you leave Louisiana, what they call gumbo does not resemble real gumbo much of the time.
Hi Jz - I'll join Fred for his lobster roll - hot chunks with butter and some lemon ... delicious ...!! Enjoy yours though - cheers Hilary
Now why would anyone take a perfectly tasty lobster and stuff it into bread? It is meant to be eaten with bread on the side, next to the cup of melted dipping butter. Love your telling of the story even if I disagree with both of your choices.
Emily In Ecuador | Lights Reflecting Off the Ocean, Puerto Lopez, Ecuador
A-
A bucket-list addition! :-)
B-
I had the same disbelief when I first heard of poutine…
:-D
T-
Sorry! sorry!
“made with your salad dressing of choice”
There! Better?
A-
aww, that’s very sweet, thank you.
*blushes and scuffs toe*
mm-
I have no doubt that you must shudder on occasion… :-)
H-
You’ll enjoy yourself - Fred is an excellent conversationalist.
And really, any lobster is good lobster…
:-D
E-
OK, I’m going to whisper this…
we do that so we can have lobster for lunch, as well as the whole hog for dinner!
shhhhhhh… don’t tell.
Actually, I'm with Emily - Big chunks of lobstah, a nice Portuguese roll, and a cup of melted buttah.
T-
Oh, that's good, too! I'm not claiming that a lobster roll is the only way to eat lobster.
Just that when one *does* eat a lobster roll, there are standards. (*ahem!*)
I have never eaten lobster, but HEY, I'M LANDLOCKED, HERE!
D-
As lobster really should only be eaten fresh, I'm actually glad to hear you've never had it.
Better deprived than misled...
If you ever travel to New England, however, consider a lobster. In any form.
(Just don't tell me if you choose the "lobster dinner on a roll" version...)
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