My parents had an extremely happy marriage but, you know, even the happiest ones have their moments. My dad used to tell of two particular instances when he nearly landed himself in either the emergency room or a divorce court. One was the story of the time he knocked a can of non-latex paint off the ladder right onto my mother’s head… and promptly forgot himself so far as to actually laugh at the bedraggled sight that she presented. (If he could have held off for even five minutes, all would have been well... but no.)
The second story went something like this: “Your mother was a terrific cook - her meals were a big improvement from your grandmother's - but Grandma did bake well. One of the things that she made that I particularly liked was those oatmeal cookies. Your mother knew I loved them, so she got the recipe from Grandma and made me some right away. They were good..., but not like my mother’s, sooo… that’s what I told her when she asked how I liked them. She didn’t speak to me for three days.”
So I learned early not to laugh at a head dripping with paint; and to never, ever make comparisons between the talents of your spouse and those of anyone else.
Not everyone got that memo, however.
I had some friends over for dinner - a fairly unusual circumstance for me so I broke out the big guns. Not in terms of fancy, just taste. Because I make (if you’ll pardon the hubris) a VERY good chicken and dumplings. Not complicated, nothing fancy, but I do the long, slow simmer thing with plenty of layers of flavor, and it is GOOD.
My friend’s husband thought so, too.
“You need to get that recipe.”
I explained to my friend that it wasn’t so much a recipe as a method, that she needed to let the carcass simmer for quite a while to get a rich broth, then do the same thing after you’ve added the veggies…
Yeah, yeah, ok, sure, sure…
And she made the chicken and dumplings for her husband - using store bought broth and cutting the simmering time to 15 minutes, because she was busy and who has time for that.
“What do you think?” she enquired brightly.
“Ummm... I thought you were going to use Jz’s recipe…?”
She didn’t speak to him for three days.
Who knew you could wreak marital havoc with chicken and dumplings??
13 comments:
Love this post Jz. My Bear always says to me that's not how my mum used to make it. I just give him a shocked look. I think we all need to remember not to compare with others.
Hugs Lindy xx
Jz,
I haven't had chicken n' dumplings in forever! Mmm, yours sounds really good, too. I agree you gotta simmer the meat for a long time to extract all that juicy goodness and preferably using a whole chicken or at the very least various chicken parts with the skin still intact. Over the years, I've used only chicken breasts for mine but it just doesn't add that same WOW as chicken with the skin. The fat from the skin and as I said a combo of white and dark meat really makes that dish sing praises off the lips of all lucky to savor. It's funny how comparsion of one's cooking can cause a temporary riff in a marriage. Thankfully, we have not had that issue here because my cooking matches my late mother-in-law's easily or so says DH. :D Whenever you get a chance pop in for today's edition of A2Z iPad Art Sketches through the Alphabet with Curious as a Cathy. ;)
Such an important lesson and well told! Never compare your spouse's cooking to another's unless it is to tell your spouse how much better hers/his is. And only do that if the two of you are alone. Your chicken and dumplings sound delicious! If I ever make some, I will be sure to simmer it for a long time. Definitely want the flavors throughout.
Emily In Ecuador | Coconut Water on Puerto Lopez Beach
Never compare your spouse to anyone else and ask, "why can't you do xxx like yyy does" or similar. Don't do it to children, either. It never ends well.
And if someone gives you the recipe and you follow it exactly and it does not taste the same, the person who gave you the recipe left something out. Often that is on purpose, some people are very close with their recipes.
My Master didn't get that memo. He compares my cooking to whoever else made the recipe all the time, if it was a family recipe. I may be weird, but it's never hurt my feelings. I consider "Almost as good as my Aunt Carol's" a compliment.
Cooking is not just in the recipe, it's in the touch. So, not surprised that two people can use the same recipe and it doesn't taste the same.
Yes, parental fights do influence our relationship with our spouse! This was a riot.
I think we all do that sometimes. There are things Sir's sister makes really well. I try for him to make them too, but I know I won't hold a candle to the nostalgia in his heart. It does hurt a little inside, because there was effort put in to trying to make the other person happy, you know?
Love this post Jz. You should enter it for a flash fiction competition
(a c word to forward this fantastic c post).
And you've proclaimed the TRUTH: comparing spouse skills = marital disCord!
https://artismoments.blogspot.qa/2018/04/c-is-for-cheddar-man-and-cave-matured.html
L-
“No, it’s how your wife makes it! And isn’t it good!?!”
(I’m translating your look…) :-)
C-
Yes, I am a carcass-freezer, purely for the sake of a good chicken broth!
I’m glad you’ve been able to dodge the issue.
E-
Absolutely! “Better than” is always acceptable - as long as there are no witnessess!
mm-
You’re right. If you simply must make comparisons to someone, do it to an adult, not a child.
But really, just don’t do it at all…
a_k-
There are a number of reasons things can taste different. I agree with mimi - you often don’t get the precise recipe someone cooks from and you are also right that there’s simply a different touch involved, or your ingredients may be more or less flavorful, or…
But I still don’t think comparisons are helpful. Most people aren’t able to see the compliment in being “nearly as good as”. More power to you for that!
N-
Don’t they, tho’?
Thank you - and welcome!
L-
It’s true that you can’t win against nostalgia but yes, when you’re trying to make them happy, it’s not fun to hear that you missed the boat.
A-
I’m not sure there’s much flash about it, but thank you, sunshine!
(I think I’d set the bar high with can-opener…)
Yes. We Compare Not. (<new motto)
There's more to a recipe than just ingredients and stir/sift/blend instructions. Of course it helps if one actually FOLLOWS the instructions proffered, which obviously was not the case here... ;)
With baking (which is more my thing), I think it's equal parts instruction and imagination. There's a reason it's called culinary arts.
Mrs. F-
Yeah, knowing her as well as I do, I can pretty much see the waving hand and hear the soft, "phhht!" - she's not big on rules, my friend isn't... :-)
Arts! Yes!
My parents were like your parents. They built a house when I was in college, and my dad did the plumbing himself. When my mother would take people through the house in its various stages of being built, she would pint to this pipe that ran down the middle of the house, from the second floor to the basement, and say, "See this pipe? This is what almost caused a divorce." She was supposed to be holding it straight upstairs, and my dad was trying to join it to some other pipe downstairs, and he kept asking her if it was straight. She said "Yes, it looks straight to me." "It can't just LOOK straight, it has to BE straight. Is it straight?" "Okay, yes, it's straight then." "Are you SURE it's straight?" "No, but it LOOKS straight..."
D-
See, if your folks had lived here, they could have consulted my uncle. He lived across the street and used to love to do things like call my dad up and tell him the (whatever he'd just built/installed) was crooked.
:-D
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