I read yet another blog where the submissive is dieting because her dominant told her to lose weight…
*sigh*
If my dominant told me to lose weight…
I would be grievously hurt, moving quickly to incensed,
and then I'd tell him to suck eggs, while shoving him out the door.
As I said to SP once, "I may not care for the way I look, but anyone dating me had better damn well like me as I am!"
I'm NEVER gonna make Twue Submissive, am I?
12 comments:
Lol, no, thank goodness, you're not!! i was just getting ready to go blog about that... weight, that is, not being a twue submissive, which i don't think i am one either, although i could probably play one on TV. (You remember those commercials, right?)
Ok, now i'm babbling...
yY
s-
maybe my next blog should be "The Ersatz Bitch"?
:-D
(no worries - I got the reference even without the prompt.)
Yy
A true Dom would not tell his submissive to diet! He might order her to take better care of herself by eating more healthy food. A true Dom does what is in his sub's best interest.
Hugs and Blessings...
Cat
C-
Yes.
I do realize there are many arrangements where the sub asks the dominant for help in dieting - that's not the kind of situation that goes up my nose. Dieting is hard and it's fair game to try whatever means you think will help. I get that.
But to be told to...?
I can't see myself accepting that.
Yet that's how we often see it presented. Perhaps a number of these submissives *did* ask for the help, but prefer to present it publicly as an order.
But I do know of cases where it was *not* the idea of the submissive -- and that... just ticks me off.
M is very lenient with my weight as well. I did ask for his guidance...his support...
I'm totally NOT allowed to eat chips (because I am fucking *powerless* to stop myself if I eat even one)
And ice cream by permission.
And that was in part because I was switching between the two as my dinner when I got home from work.
yeah. that was bad.
I've taken a facebook challenge to cut a few things out of my diet for 21 days, and it's something that is helping me eat better (wait...what's a vegetable again? yeah, seriously I'm that bad)
Anyway...no...I'm past that whole Dom orders you to lose weight thing. Maybe in the beginning, for the control factor...
but not now. Don't control me to that extent. TYVM.
(does that make it seem like D/s is a game? I don't think so--but it's only a part of my life...)
nilla
n-
As I said, I have no problem with it if someone asks for help. Otherwise, however...?
I guess we'll just have to say it's a hard limit for me.
That or I'm too ornery - take your pick.
Yeah, for me that's always been a limit worth setting right up there with 'don't cut off any limbs'.
B-
It's all in where you draw your lines... :-)
It's all in where you draw the lines. I can't imagine having anyone TELL me to lose weight. But umm, if they really didn't find me attractive, wouldn't I want to? Umm...
And would it be different if he wanted you to quit smoking or exercise regularly or go to bed earlier? There are all kinds of relationships where the D seems to establish bedtimes, and I seriously cannot imagine that one.
Every couple, no matter how vanilla or not, has their own agreements.
F
F-
You are absolutely right that each couple has their own agreements - I really was just speaking to how the idea strikes me.
Wouldn't I want to diet if they really didn't find me attractive? Actually, no -- and I can say that with confidence because I've experienced it.
I might wish they would be able to find me attractive as I am, I might be greatly saddened that they can't... but no. It's tied into that whole "see me as a person, not a thing" for me - which I know is a view not everyone shares.
Smoking or exercise or bed might still be irksome but I can see those as more health issues, less superficial. So they don't bother me as much.
I've had to strictly control my diet since I was a child due to severe intolerances. I can be quite ill if I slip up. So yeah, for me anything to do with food is up there with limb lopping, I'm not going to be with someone who's into that!
having said all that, I now trust him enough to order for me, feed me by hand, do all sorts of edgy humiliation play around food, etc, and I love it, but it took a long time of him going nowhere these areas for me to be able to do it and enjoy it.
mck-
oh, that's a whole 'nother layer, isn't it?
My minefield is the acceptance but I can see where the intolerances could have impact on your trust, too...
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