A Vengeance, I Say...

I was promised "long and intense".
He forgot to add, "and trailblazing".

He arrived brandishing a brand new 100-ft. hank of rope -- because the one we have (that I'm always tripping over) "isn't long enough." (?!?)
But he was right -- it wouldn't have been. I was absolutely hog-tied from ears to hip, with only enough leeway for a finger-wiggle. I even had a rope around my neck. Loose, but enough to prove that it's possible to both hyperventilate and give head at the same time.
(ok, there's a phobia to work on...)

I was walloped by hand.
I was walloped with a coil of rope. (Kinda hot, actually.)
I was walloped in delicate areas that were previously flogging virgins.

We had chopsticks. We had rubber bands.
I was at the door, I was on the floor, I was atop the coffee table and beneath the couch.
The laws of gravity were blithely ignored.

And those little hot pink nipple suction doo-dads?
Well, they are turning out to be the best bang for your buck of any purchase I've made yet...

I was spared an upclose and personal investigation of the "can they be used on your clit?" question. But we made up for that.
I had to mumble around one wedged onto the tip of my tongue.
I wore them sticking off my lower abdomen at 45-degree angles, like quivering, chubby pink antennae.
And disconcertingly, I discovered that when used as directed and seen from just the right angle, they make your boobs appear to be wearing clown noses.
(Photos NOT available upon request!)

I think he missed me...