I don't even know where I'm going with this but it's something that has been really bugging me so I'm just going to throw it out there and then go hide under that rock I stole from lil...
(Oh, and warning -- some degree of grossness ahead.)
BG sent me a link to a very long, very hot video. After watching it, I asked him what his favorite part was. "Where she's giving a blow job and she doesn't swallow any of her saliva, so it becomes a ropey mess all over her mouth and face."
Strange, that part made me quite uncomfortable and longing for a washcloth... (seriously, this woman was drool from hairline to boobs)
So I shared BG's opinion with SP -- who had also seen the video.
"Oh, yeah. That was hot!"
"The spit all over over her face?"
"Yeah, it's great!"
"Yuck! Uncomfortable and there's probably snot all mixed in, too."
"Well, du'uh! yeah..."
"What if he kisses me and takes in snot...?!?"
"We're big boys, we know what we're doing."
"Spit and snot -- this is attractive to you?? ... Really?"
"It's all about complete obedience to what I demand. There is your edge and that's what it looks like there."
crap.
I remember once reading a post by a Dom (Tristan, maybe? I miss Tristan...) that discussed how a sub's beauty lay not in her physical looks but in her total submission. My brain can see the point. But even if I can see it, I'm not sure I can bring myself believe it, at least not in this instance.
Not even so much because of the gross factor or that I'm afraid I'll completely skeeb him out.
It's that stupid vanity thing again. (Move over, gg...)
I know my focus is to please him.
I know that my opinion is completely irrelevant to his wishes.
I know I'm supposed to not care.
But it's really, really hard, as a woman with not a lot of delusions about her looks, to consider willingly obscuring what smidgeon of pretty you might possess by burying it under a blanket of smeared nasal discharge. Sorry, it just IS.
I want to be pleasing and pretty. (ish)
Snot as an indicator of full submission... Who knew??
:trudges dejectedly away:
13 comments:
I see what your saying snout in itself is pretty gross no argument here. But as a bisexual woman and a sub that enjoys other subs with my Master, I understand the attraction to the situation. It is in my veiw the letting go in service to your dom. If your in the act, worrying about what your looking like your full attention is not on your dom/master. Being completely engrossed in and enjoying it does not leave space in my mind about the sweat, snot, saliva and tears. I have no worries about my looks I know master is happy with them. But it took me a while to feel this comfortable with both myself and with Masters view of me. After 14 years I have few worries in this area. Just my P.O.V.
http://mysubmissivelife.blogspot.com
they just like us messy
Mr C used to say that -- sweaty, dirty, messed up and smeared made him feel like..."Yeah -- I did that"
sigh
we don't have to get it
we just have to buy more towels.
sfp
I can sooo totally relate. When Mr.G and I were talking deep throating and gagging, I was so terrified I'd vomit on his penis. His response if I did "I'd make sure you weren't choking and then continue. Truly shocking what doesn't squick men out.
Go figure...They still think snot is cool when they grow up. Who knew?
And I'm still under that rock you know! Did you bring the video?
But in all seriousness... I think that maybe some of it really is in seeing us at our worst (I want a different word, but it's not coming to mind), especially when they put us there and are benefiting from it.
Maybe pretty or prettyish can be used as another form of walls. And when we're covered in snot, that one's certainly ripped down.
So many brilliant lines in this post :)
"Spit and snot -- this is attractive to you?? ... Really?
BIG gross factor >>> "willingly obscuring what smidgeon of pretty you might possess by burying it under a blanket of smeared nasal discharge. "
"Snot as an indicator of full submission... Who knew??"
-----------------------
I'm with you. It's gross. KG likes that slobbering, saliva pull, drool dripping crap too. Ick!
How is that hot? I know, I read what SP said.
-H
@Kindred: Good comment and explanation.
-H
I think the relevant word is "abandonment". Alice xx
All good points - and i think lil hit it - as boys they like messy - it shouldn't be a surprise that intense, let your guard down play involves messy as adults too.
Kindred-
Welcome...
Yeah, I do understand the "complete attention" thrill of slobber. My head can get that it's really hot to see someone so into you, they don't notice anything else.
But that's my head -- the rest of me has yet to get on board.
I think it's great that you can do it, however. I honestly envy people who don't get so tripped up over their own stupidities as I do.
sfp-
Someone made an interesting comment about this - she said she goes along with it for him - but it feels a lot like faking an orgasm. And that is one of the subliminal irritations to this. I don't want to fake anything.
So I'm not so sure how I feel about extra towels, exactly...
HG-
I actually have urped on his dick. That didn't really bother either of us, actually.
But then again, I wasn't required to smear it on my face...
(I'd say "or worry that he'd kiss me through it" - but I'm pretty sure that part wouldn't be a concern.)
l-
I think part of my problem with it is that, in my situation, you're ripping down walls and then heading for the hills, not sticking around to help me keep from falling apart until I get the chicken wire up...
H-
Thank you.
I even toned it down.
In the first draft, my love of hyperbole really got out of control...!
;-p
A-
I agree. Complete abandonment during sex is hot.
I know, I know, I know...
Does my knowing change anything...?
(I'll wait while you think hard.)
gg-
oh, we get messy -- at least, I do.
He's one of those obnoxious types that always looks superbly groomed. Sometimes sweaty, but even that doesn't dishevel a danged thing.
(I think it's a case of opposites attracting....)
I get the feeling it's *because* we don't like being messed up partly that it becomes the attraction. Because we're doing it anyway for them, because they have made us, and they know we're too far gone to fight it.
Mr L says he loves that indignant look I get in my eye when he's making me do something hard - watching me be indignant and not complaining - I feel like this is part of the same thing. It's no fun if we *want* to all the time ;) (in a consensual way, of course)
J.
J-
I'm sure you're right.
I just wish "indignant" was my first response, not "bursting into tears"...
(Clearly, there are issues to be worked on here...)
this post just made me laugh while agreeing with every word you said. My non-Dom when in his Dom moods can stomach (though its not clear if he likes it) from me the things that leak out of me that should remain firmly inside until those private moments..that way i can retain the illusion of 'prettyish'.
*grins*
Thank you, littleone!
(and welcome)
I'm sure part of the issue is they see pretty different than we do. But still,...
*le sigh*
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