U is For...

Uncertainty

News flash - I don't like uncertainty.

I am not, in the general run of things, particularly plagued by the beast. I do not need a precise topographical map for my life... I am far too aware that there are an infinite number of ways in which things can go wrong, so I don’t spend much time letting the possibilities tie knots in my head. (There are too many more interesting musings to wrangle with! :-D )

But I'm not sanguine about uncertainty, either.

I hate not having a rough game plan for any part of my life. I don't require a complete set of Mapquest directions but I do like at least a rough idea of where I’m headed and how I’ll get there. Without that very basic level of knowledge, agita sets in - it's sort of like a life lived always waiting for the results of a medical test. 

Which isn’t to say that I can’t punt and adjust my plans - I can. It’s not always comfortable or joyfully undertaken, but I understand (^see paragraph one^) that stuff happens and we adjust.

But a rough idea that you can adjust is still a completely different animal than a state of total uncertainty - and is much more comfortable. It lets me sleep at night.

So remind again why I’m dating the King of Winging It?

One’s romantic life has to be one of the most maddening places for uncertainty to make an appearance. Not that certainty is completely lacking - our recovery from The Time of Troubles demonstrated that. But he still has this thing where he is so reluctant to become forsworn that, in effect, he refuses to think past next Tuesday.

I respect that in principle…, but the reality makes me nuts.

Uncertainty.

I'm living it... but it's not my favorite thing.