O is for...

Open Circuit

Any relationship is, ideally, a symbiosis… something that is of mutual advantage to each participant.  It’s a circle of give and take. I give BG something he wants, he takes it and gives me something I want in return… and so on and so on. That all sounds pretty easy, doesn’t it?

I often get the feeling however, that we forget (overlook?) that all this giving and taking does not have only one source or one circle. Relationships have rings within rings within rings… Using my own as an example: yes, BG wants submission; I give him that, he gives me dominance, that enhances my submission, blah, blah, blah… That circle is spinning quite happily. 

But there are multiple circuits here - I’m not with him because I want only one thing, and vice versa. We both also want caring (check!) intimacy (check!) and understanding (check!). More rings happily spinning…

However, there can also be things that one person wants but the other doesn’t/can’t/won’t strive for. So that (those?) particular circuit ends up bucking the tide, trying to run along with the others but unable to, because there is resistance.

So what happens to this open circuit?

Ignore it? Shut it off?

Declare it invalid because can’t be completed?

I don’t have any answers here. But I am wondering, because at some point, I’m going to need to know. Both BG and I each have a couple of open circuits… but none of them have been declared permanently unmanageable at this point, they’re just things we can’t deal with right now… so we’ve simply bracketed them for the time being.

Eventually, however, they will interfere with the other merry spins… and then what?