E is for...

Errata.

As in, "my life should come with ..."

errata [ih-rah-tuh, ih-rey-, ih-rat-uh]

    noun

1. plural of erratum.

2. a list of corrected errors appended to a book or published in a subsequent issue of a journal

When I worked in a research library, we would periodically receive these small slips of paper which we were meant to glue into the flawed publication… 

          and I would wonder, “Why don’t they make these for life?"

I mean, just think about it.

No longer would you have to feel ashamed or regretful over missteps of the past… instead, you could turn all those questionable decisions into great moral triumphs, simply by informing the world that you had “corrected that error”!

          “No, I don’t swear anymore… please refer to the errata for age 22…”

          “Don’t worry… the lout who liked to shame me became history. (see year 28)”

          “Nahh, I let go of that guy I was using as a crutch. It’s right there in the errata…”

          “Oh, 49 was a great year! I reclaimed my sexuality! Didn’t you catch the errata?!?”

Really, we need to figure out a way to work this out...