In Case You Were Wondering...

Here's some of what I did on my little vacation from BlogLand:

  I applied (and was rejected) for the job of my dreams.
(This was the start of the decline...)

  I discovered that they make a Boston Creme Pie ice cream.
       OMFG!
(No, no correlation between those two points, why do you ask?)

  I priced out a little mini-vacation.

  I achieved a state of hysteria over the condition of my finances.

  I ate anything that wasn't nailed down.
(except the Boston Cream Pie ice cream, which was long gone.)

  I made a new budget.

  I took up yoga.
(perhaps you've heard the anguished screams of my hamstrings?)

  I went to a conference and fell in love with my career all over again.

  I plodded through the most relentlessly earnest book it has ever been my misfortune to read. (Book club obligation)

  I raked a ton of gravel out of my lawn and retrieved all the bits of sod scattered by the plows throughout the course of the winter.

  I iced my back.

  I culled 60 gallons worth of weeds, clippings and leaves from the two smallest of my four gardens.

  I iced my back some more.

  I braved the dark, scary, DUSTY corners of my shoe closet.
And, emboldened, went on to clean beneath my bed.

and, oh yeah, I also did this:

Except there was also a vibe laid atop my clit, a flogger whaling away at all exposed bits, and a deep voice warning, "Don't let that vibrator fall!"

I did contemplate ice afterward - but couldn't bring myself to do it...