When I was young, certainly through high school (and quite possibly longer, tho' I cannot swear to it,) I usually bounded up the last step of our stairs in what cannot possibly be called anything but a leap of joy. It was a physical expression of an overwhelming internal surge of pure joie de vivre. The world was a terrific place and I was just damned happy to be alive.
I don't do that so much now.
Nope… I haven't surged or bounded in quite some time.
Rather, experience has tempered my elation and given me a more moderated view of the world -- there is still much that is terrific, but there is equally much that just sucks. Which doesn't mean you give in to the suckage, I'm just explaining why I don't feel called to leap rhapsodic any more, either.
Instead, these days, I more often experience joy as a quiet, ephemeral thing … a collection of small, perfect moments of happiness, rather than one great, surging tsunami of exultation.
And I wonder if that alteration of form isn't what causes people to overlook joy in their lives -- if we aren't confusing happiness with the dopamine rush it can bring. It sometimes seems as though, if the two don't arrive hand in hand, we can't recognize that Joy Is In the Building.
As though we are focusing on the wrong part…
Which may be why, when I read a quote (by the completely unknown to me Henri J.M. Nouwen) that said…
“Joy does not simply happen to us.
We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”
…that I found myself somewhat irritated.
Something about that statement irks me. But why…?
Why does this fairly benign homily get so directly up my nose?
Because I do believe that you create your own aptitude for joy… so what was getting my goat here?
Why does this fairly benign homily get so directly up my nose?
Because I do believe that you create your own aptitude for joy… so what was getting my goat here?
Finally, I decided that I simply don't like the wording, because once again, it seems the focus is put on the wrong part. My distinction is a bit nebulous, I realize, but to me, this statement almost asks us to force ourselves to joy, to just whip some up every day and call it done.
And while joy may not simply happen to us, I also don't think it's a thing we choose or create. All we really need to do is to recognize it.
Because I think joy always exists... what we choose is to see it and experience it… or not.
2 comments:
"And I wonder if that alteration of form isn't what causes people to overlook joy in their lives -- if we aren't confusing happiness with the dopamine rush it can bring. It sometimes seems as though, if the two don't arrive hand in hand, we can't recognize that Joy Is In the Building.
As though we are focusing on the wrong part…"
But - you are choosing joy. We can't manufacture joy in our lives. [Ironically - we can bring joy to others]. All one has to do to choose joy is to recognize it when it happens, to see beyond or through all the noise and dark, to be open to its possibility. I know i'm arguing just exactly what you've said in your last paragraph - because i think you're exactly right - i don't read that quote as advocating work or daily toil to choose joy - but simply allowing for the possibility, turning our heads just enough to see it.
Beautiful post - thank you.
gg-
Perhaps my discomfort with his wording has more to do with my natural antipathy toward men of the cloth. :-)
Because you're right, it boils down to the same thing.
I'm glad you enjoyed the ponder, anyhow.
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