The sad truth is that my blog's gone vanilla because there is neither sex nor submission happening around here these days.
BG has staged another retreat (of yet-unknown duration.) Could be just the latest in his many fight-or-flight responses or maybe this will finally be "The Big One, Elizabeth!"
Whatever the reason, he's not around - but promises an explanation "soon". (That would be the Y-chromosome definition of "soon" -- as in, "I'll call you soon" -- says she of the X-chromosome's "yes, I am ready to go" misstatement.) ;-)
I have learned not to hold my breath.
Instead, I'm focusing on being grateful that the timing is better with this one. Right now, I'm feeling too low-level cruddy to get particularly worked up about his disappearance. Vertigo, dizziness, and nausea aren't exactly libido boosters, after all. And I'm having a hard enough time taking care of me at the moment to want to worry about serving him. So I'm not nearly as bothered by this run of the doldrums as I have been by some.
But between it, enforced work hiatus, no reading, and limited TV, computer, and company, I can't say I have much to talk about, either.
So, dear readers, I turn to you...
Quick!
Somebody throw me a topic!
A question to answer?
Naughty limerick to complete?
Just remember, I gave you all the chance...
32 comments:
There was a young lady called JZ
Whose days had become a little hazy
She rallied around
And suddenly found.
.....
Complete please at your leisure.
Best wishes. Alice x
You should write a story...maybe something naughty?
:-)
Hugs,
mouse
A-
I love you!
nasty rhyme scheme for me, tho'...
The first thing through my mind was,
"She actually liked being lazy" -- but that seemed too pat.
"She was craving some chicken francese"? -- noooo...
aha!
"She now cut a rug like Patrick Swayze"!!!!
miz mouse-
SP got to you, didn't he?
He's been saying the same thing.
;-)
A perverted convalecsee J-zeez,
Would climax with every sneeze.
To the chemist she went
With her very last cent,
"A barrel of snuff, if you please!"
Ooh, ooh, Ummmm, how long does the offer stand? My greedy little ears perked right up, then I couldn't think of anything lol.
The offer isn't like one of those infomercial things right? You know, where "this one time only special offer expires at midnight!!!"
Because maybe tomorrow I will be sorry my brain wasn't working today lol.
T-
A scamp of a man name of Tom
knew a bitch that he thought was the bomb
he made her laugh hard
til her eyeballs got jarred
and bounced all the way down to Guam
;-)
lil-
Nope, no need to Act Now!
The ginzu knives will still be available tomorrow. :-)
(How naughty did you want them?)
Jz, please, I can't screw anymore.
My back aches, and my balls are all sore;
I'm dripping with sweat,
and you haven't come yet,
And my Gawd, it's a quarter to four!
T-
"Uncle!!"
(I know better than to mess with the Master!)
But I did enjoy that, thank you very much! ;-)
Story, story, story!!
Tell us a story, Jz, puleeeeeeze....
aisha
Jz said: A scamp of a man name of Tom
knew a bitch that he thought was the bomb
he made her laugh hard
til her eyeballs got jarred
and bounced all the way down to Guam
'Twas not the eyeballs I watched bounce to Guam
But her ample pink bosoms
They gave such a jiggle
I was pleasantly tickled
and got the nerve to ask for a nibble.
-H
"Uncle!!"
Well, sine I've always hated the "Who's your daddy?" thing, Uncle play might work.
What? What?
@Tom:
Lol...
I was just typing, "He makes me call him Daddy" ;-)
-H
There was a tall lass named Jz
I heard she was a hot subby
Partner games she did like to play
A strong competiveness she would soon display
For she loved the challenge of naked twister
And could dominate like anyone's Mister.
(Nope! Not letting go of my fantasy of naked twister )
*bats eyelashed*
-H
A-
oooooh, oookay, I'll start thinking.
(Does it have to be naughty or will any story do?) ;-)
H-
LOVE your enthusiasm for the idea!
And how very intriguing, the way you have taken the rigid structure of a limerick and totally made it your own with that free-form approach...
(tactful enough?)
T-
How 'bout I just call you Napoleon Solo? ;-)
It can be any story you want - maybe one about naked twister would be fun???
aisha
I once knew a girl named Bitch
Who demanded limericks to her be accurate
Not shy or reluctant to criticize
She cut me down to pint size
"It's okay", I said with a laugh
I'm sure you will still enjoy my gaffes.
Note: I tried. I can't do it. I'm a limerick idiot. :D
A-
Not you, too!!!
(I'll work on it.)
;-)
H-
Oh, dear God...
You completely took me out with those first two lines!
Since Hedone is making me cringe, I'm going to pretend to be her Uncle and give her some instruction.
Come over here, Hedone. Closer. No, come sit on Uncle's lap, and let me hold you. Or better still, you hold onto me. That's better. Okay, now listen:
The limerick is furtive and mean.
You must keep it in close quarantine,
Or she sneaks to the slums,
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene.
Much like Auntie Jz, wouldn't you say? To continue:
The limerick packs laughs anatomical,
Into space that is quite economical;
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones are so seldom comical.
In other words, they are supposed to be naughty, dirty, or disgusting. Go perverted or go home.
The limerick's form is complex,
Its contents run chiefly to sex.
It burgeons with virgins
And prurient urgings
And drips with erotic effects.
Remember, the rhyme scheme is AABBA. 5 lines only.
The meter is:
bah-BAH bah-bah-BAH bah-bah-BAH
bah-BAH bah-bah-BAH bah-bah-BAH
bah-BAH bah-bah-BAH
bah-BAH bah-bah-BAH
bah-BAH bah-bah-BAH bah-bah-BAH.
Got that, little Hedone? Okay, now let's try that again for our poor Jz.
I once knew a reluctant bitch
Whose charms were both ample and rich.
She didn't care whether
she was stroked with a feather,
Or smacked on her ass with a switch.
Okay, Ms. Hedone, you can get down now. Er, no, maybe you should wriggle around for a little bit more... it's quite inspiring.
T-
Dude.
I knew you were good.
But this is flippin' ridiculous!
Of course, Hedone is SUPERB inspiration!
A veritable limerick muse.
(who might, ah, want to keep that the limit of her involvement... sorry, sunshine, but, y'know...)
;-D
Goodness!!!! Now mouse is reading EVERYTHING like it's supposed to be limerick. Such impressive talent displayed here...
Hugs,
mouse
Oooh I'm a muse :-)
@Tom:
blah blah blah
blah blah blah blah
got it!
btw...I'm getting this on a bumper sticker:
"Go perverted, or go home."
My first two attempts were perverted but free-style limericks :D :D :D
-----------
Gosh Tom, you are so very very good.
-H
My friend the prolific poet named Virtual Sin had this contribution to make. I am posting on his behalf because blogger would not let him post. ~Hedone
----------------------------
Not a Limerick:
In the name of all that's holy, someone spank that lady's tushy!
We can't take careless chances she'll get strong and proud and pushy.
She needs to be reminded that her role is in submission,
And we want her doing penance when she gets back in commission.
I think I speak for all the Doms: a subbie needs controlling,
And NEVER is the proper time for a Top to be consoling.
sweet mouse-
If you can read Hedone's offerings like it's supposed to be a limerick, you are a far, FAR better woman than I!
(well, you probably are anyhow but that's another topic...)
H-
Love the bumper sticker idea!
But the justification? Not workin', babe.
Stick with haikus. You rock those.
:-D
VS-
er, ummm, uhhh,
Thanks?
(I think...)
;-)
But do thank you for the contribution! (are you blocking pop-ups, per chance? I had that problem and mouse had to save me.)
Gosh Tom, you are so very very good.
Yes. Yes, I am.
And I write limericks, too ;-)
I hope all the fun posts boosted your spirits.
FD
Tom-
I know that was really for Hedone.
But just so you know...
I am shaking my head.
FD-
Hi! Nice to see you again.
Yes, I have had fun with this.
:-)
You may *think* it was for Hedone...
;-)
Happy Saturday Jz! (and all)
I'm taking Tom's advice, "Go Pervert, or go home."
There was a young girl from Australia
Who thought all dicks were a failure
So she lay on her back
And opened her crack
And in backed a lorry and trailer.
I can't write 'em but I can find 'em.
-H
...and lastly (well for now)
There once was a girl named Pragmatic
Whose dildo was on automatic
The button got stuck
My gosh what a fuck
The neighbors say she is still at it. ~from someone named Outta, 2006 on a limerick forum
T-
I'm batting my eyelashes madly, can you see me?
;-)
H-
Oooh!
I like #2!
your friend,
Pragmatic Girl
In a lodge south of old Timbuktu,
I ran into a girl that I knew.
We drank and we cuddled
'Til her senses were muddled,
Then I took her upstairs for a screw.
Oh, Rock ON, you!!!
Thank you, VS! :-)
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